Triggering (Suicide) - family death

darkdoom · 05-01-2008, 11:50 AM

Today i heard my uncle died. Whilst i didnt know him very well he died on the anniversary of my gran (2 years) my father in law died a year ago 12/01/2007. what have i done to deserve so many deaths recently. I hadnt self harmed for 2 + 1/2 days, now i've been really stupid. im ashamed of what ive done. i keep crying. i want a black hole to swallow me up. i cant go on. at my age i should be pulling myself together. be strong for everyone. i hate this living hell. i want to die........

*Fading_existence* · 05-01-2008, 12:14 PM

hun, please take care of yourself *holdsyoutightly* you can get through this, i promise i know how hard it is too loose people you love dearly and who you care about so much. You havent done anything, well done on the 2 and a half days! If you ever want to chat about anything feel free to pm me. *big cuddles* it will get easier in time i promise.

Neon. · 05-01-2008, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkdoom

at my age i should be pulling myself together. be strong for everyone.

Hun there's no age limit on how you feel, and recovering takes time. Fight for yourself before being strong for everyone else. Look after yourself.
Sounds like you're having a really rough time and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with so much. You haven't done anything to deserve this at all. Sadly death will happen to us all and it's so unfortunate that for you there have been so many family deaths in such a short space of time.
Keep fighting hun, not for others but for yourself.
We're all here to support you so keep talking to us if it helps xxx

blondiebear · 05-01-2008, 05:55 PM

Being able to grieve and mourn honestly is a means of strength too. It is the strength of the willow tree that bends in the wind. Let your family cry on your shoulder and cry with them.

*Offers you a box of tissues and a cherishing hug*

darkdoom · 06-01-2008, 09:25 AM

thanks for all your support. i drank myself into oblivion last night to help lessen the pain. although life is still the same this mornng it made me forget last night. i obviously si last night as i have extra bruises and marks on my legs but i cant remember doing so. not sure this really helps if i dont know i've done it. i always thought i was incontrol of my si. *hugs* everyone back, thanks