Triggering (Suicide) - my life as i knew it, is over

[broken_puppy]

firstly, i dont care how many 'points' i get but this new design sucks big time. whats up with not being able to talk about anything, ****ing pc idiots. and i had to re-register...not happy

anyway, i tried to kill myself on tues night.
wont go into detail but it was pills.

spent the night in a+e and they released me without even so much as a slap on the wrist.

my mum wont stop crying, i cant look anyone in the eye. had to get rid of all my blades. i have stuff carved into my forearms that i thought i wasnt going to be around to say and i just feel so exhausted. havent eaten anything since 10pm tues.

the only person i trust in the world n want to speak to is in the isle of white till mon.

sorry this was so long

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[broken_puppy]

mum left about an hour ago n she didnt say where she was goin or when she'd be back...

im all alone

help

[camybaby]

hey there, im sorry that things got so bad for you that you tried to commit suicide. *hugs* You have been through alot, physically a d emotionally which is why you are exhausted so just try to take things easy.

Maybe go see your doctor to try to get some councilling if you arent already? and medication can help a lot. I know how you feel about the drs etc being totally dismissive. When I ended up in hopsital that was the best reaction I got from them. Your not alone.

Your mum loves you and this has upset her. She is prrobably feeling scared and helpless. Its becasue she really cares bout you and doesnt want you going through feeling like this. Its common to feel ashamed living through a suicide attempt. maybe try to use this feeling as a reason to live?

Try using distractions if you get the urge to self harm or use less extreme means like putting ice on your skin or snapping elastic bands on you. Heres a good link if you get suidial urges again http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

sorry im not of more use

[broken_puppy]

thanks cam

i keep tryna do work but i just cant focus.
i cant eat, i cant sleep any more than i have already.
i feel like a ghost thats watchin the aftermath of what would have happened if i had actually died. its weird

[camybaby]

Maybe try and eat, even if its just a little or semi soild food like soup? Just try and take things easy and slow. And what you are feeling isnt weird, and im assuming things would also be a lot worse if you had died. Try and use that for motivation to try to get better? Things arent going to get better magically over night but things will get better. Nothing can last forever not even bad emotions situations etc.

[broken_puppy]

well...

i managed to eat something but now i feel sick *sigh*

had my first 'talk' wid mum aka a slagging match. i was too tired to say anything back so basically it was just her shoutin at me.

some of her words will stay with me forever, not in a good way.

i'm gonna go back to college on mon and i do want to tell everyone but if my tutors find out they'll probs just kick me out. oh well

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