Hi guys.
I just wanted a bit of advice really,i've not cut since the 8th of December(not by choice). And my mum,well she said to me today in the changing room in the shop, "since you've stopped, i think we should think about getting the scars removed". Im like yeh sure. But i dont.
I can't get rid of my scars,they're the only reminder i have left of how i made it through such a bad year,and well she doesn't seem to grasp that. She just thinks of them as horrible ugly disgusting marks that need to be vanished. She assumed i'll be happy if i don't have them. But to be honest,i'm happy wearing long sleeves all the time,obviously i'd like it if i could wear them,and some days i do have the confidence to wear short sleeves. But in the summer maybe they'll have faded a little and i'll have the confidence to wear short sleeves.
Any advice on how to tell her i don't want my scars removed?
It will break her heart if i tell her.
I like mine too. Even feel sad for those that faded. Anyway, you need to tell your mum gently that you are not ready yet. Try explaining that it is a big step and that you need time to adjust. Mums like it if their children trust them, so tell her in secrecy. She'll feel important and it will therefore be easier for her to accept your wishes.
If you find it hard to discuss things like this with her, I would write her a letter, explaining what you've posted here, and asking her to try and understand. The scars will fade by themselves after a time, and if you're not comfortable doing anything to actively reduce them, then your mum can't make you. I totally understand, because my mum hates my scars, but I like them. She's only reacting like this because she doesn't understand SI, and wants to remove all the reminders so she can forget about it; just remind her that it's your decision, and that you've had a hard year and don't feel ready to take this step yet.
Take care hun. *hugs*
Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life
Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -
Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.
Well in the end it's your decision, right? I know that sounds kinda harsh, but it's your body and you should be able to decide what you want to do with it. Try explaining that to her. Like stil dreaming said; write her a letter if it's too hard to explain face to face, then talk about it.
Good luck
x
Tonight I'm alive just to say I love you to death.
Hmm...you should just probably sit down and talk with her. Personally, I didn't want my scars, and alot of mine have faded, but that's just me.
Sorry, but I didn't have this problem with my mom so I dunno if I helped or not.
Let's put a smile on that face
We are not alone
Find out when your cover's blown
There'll be somebody there to break your fall
We are not alone
'Cause when you cut down to the bone
We're really not so different after all
Thanks guys.
I know what you mean,it is my body,but then again she is my mum,she brought me into this world,and i know how much it hurts her when she sees them. But then again i cannot get rid of them ever.
I'm going to write her a letter and well if she doesn't like what i have to say then that's her problem.I hope she accepts that i can't get rid of them,oh god i hope.
I can just imagine her turning this into a new problem on its own,just so she can kick me out.
Thanks for all your help guys,it's appreciated
xxxx
i no how u feel! my parents wanted me to do the same thing...it made me feel like they were ashamed of me. they ended up dropping itwen i kept tellin them maybe. hope it works out for you. =]
xx
Try just sitting down and telling her gently. Explain why u dont want them removed and hopefully she will understand.
*hugs* pm me if u wana talk hun :)
