How do I get rid of my paranoia?

scattered_butterfly · 28-12-2007, 06:39 AM

I know it's totally irrational, but at the same time it makes perfect sense, and it just tears me up inside. I get paranoid about the smallest things, like about 3 years ago when I was in my last year of high school I suddenly thought all my friends were going to leave, just turn around and laugh and say they never really liked me... I know that sounds stupid, but it was so real to me, and eventually seeing a Psyhologist I got rid of it, but not before I got rid of a few friends...

Now, I have a new boyfriend, we've been together almost 3 months and he is gorgeous, but I know he was interested in one of my friends before me, but never had the guts to actually ask her out. And I cant shake the feeling that I'm just his second though, and on her birthday he wrapped my present for her (I suck at wrapping), and he picked out this gorgeous wrapping paper and card, and even used ribbons around it, so naturally I'm thinking "****, i better learn to wrap because his Christmas present for me will look amazing"... come Christmas day, he got me a Pandora bracelet (expensive and I really wanted it!), however it was wrapped in sad faded gold wrapping paper, with a giant tear in the top that had been patched together with sticky tape, and a tiny little card stuck to it. I feel like he put so much effort into my friends present, but mine looked like an afterthought.

I manged to look past this and not let it get to me, but then last night we had a party at her place and she was trashed so he kept helping her do everything, and then when he left he forgot to take his Wine Cooler with him, so even thought this sounds ridiculous I got it in my head that he left it there on purpose so he could go back and get it the next day, just to see her. I trust him but it just seems so real to me, but I know accusing him will make him angry, so instead I've pulled away from him, but it's so confusing because I dont know what to believe.

Is there a way to get rid of my paranoia?? Little things are always turned into massive things in my mind, and I cant stop it, even though I want to, and it's so frustrating. Is it just paranoia or something else??

Please help, I dont want to lose him but if I keep thinking like this I'm going to drive myself crazy.

Stellata · 28-12-2007, 10:02 AM

I can't diagnose you, but one thing that stands out for me in what you've written is that you're very sensitive. That's ok. Many other people are too. Including me. :) Sensitivity and insecurity can very easily tip into something deeper, closer to paranoia, and maybe that's what you're scared of?
You say also that you have a tendency to make small things appear bigger in your mind.

What helps me manage my tendency to paranoia is to work it through in therapy, getting at the root of my anxieties and insecurities and soothing the rawness I feel in the world. In my case reality checking in the present helps - knowing that it's not like the past when people did hurt me.

plastic rose · 08-01-2008, 02:02 PM

It sounds like you could have an anxiety disorder. But I think most likely you are just suffering from very low self-esteem which is making you feel low and anxious. Therapy can REALLY help with that.

If you haven't heard of CBT, it's a VERY popular therapy for anxiety disorders which is based on changing the way you think so that you get in control of your anxious thoughts and stay rational so that you don't freak out or become paranoid. Some people really don't like it but for me it worked miracles, but generally speaking for anxiety it works very quickly. For low self-esteem it can take longer to work, or you might want to try a different type of therapy, but either way it sounds like you need some help.

I hope you manage to talk to somebody who can help you. In the meantime, when you feel yourself getting paranoid, try to identify what negative thoughts you have that are making you paranoid, and replace them with more positive, rational ones. For example, instead of thinking "omg my boyfriend doesn't like me he wants other girls first" try to remind yourself that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't really like you, and he must want to be with you.

Take care. x