First SI nightmare! (triggering/graphic?)

[Long*Past]

ok so I've made it almost an entire month cut free and I've been feeling really good about that, especially since the holidays is a really stressful time of year for me, but just a little while ago I started having this horrible nightmare. I don't remember all the details in perfect, but I remember the main parts.

So the nightmare starts as just me and someone in my family fighting about something. I remember looking down at my wrist where I had my butterfly Liz drawn. Liz is my ex-girlfriend and I love her dearly, and she wants me to stop cutting so that's why I named the butterfly that (see my sig), and I remember thinking this in my dream, but then the fighting turns for the worst and stand up, suddenly holding a knife, and I slash it across my wrist, over my butterfly. I hear myself crying and screaming and I'm staring at my wrist cluching it. All I can remember after that is that it just won't stop bleeding and there's blood everywhere and someone is screaming at me.

Then I wake up.

I'm so afraid of this, it makes me feel like cutting again, just so it doesn't get to that point. I don't really know what to do about it.

Signed,
Ashley

[Buttons.]

Hey hun, first off, congradulations on not cutting for so long-resisting those urges is hard work, and you have proved just what a strong, dedicated person you really are *hugs tight*.

I'm really glad you chose to post here instead of cutting. That was a really good move and I hope you can be proud of yourself for that. Has something specific happened recently, that might have triggered this dream and these urges? Or has everything just built up for you?

I think it would be a real shame to give up on all your hard work over a nightmare sweetheart. Would it be possible to talk this nightmare through with someone close to you, or a counseller? Expressing your fears might help you deal with them-the old problem shared problem halfed theory. Other ways of preventing nightmares are taking herbal sleeping remedies such as Kalms an hour or so before you settle down, to help you relax before you go to sleep; to take a hot bath with bubble bath or something that relaxes you; having a non-caffinated milky drink; or even putting something nice like lavender on your pillow to help you chill out and stay calm before you go to sleep.

take care, hope this helped a little,
katy
xxx

[cobinrapner]

I've had a nightmare like that. And it's tough because it sticks with you for a while. But try not to let it get to you. I'm glad you came on the forum instead of cutting. It helps a lot to let things, especially things like that, out in the open. I hope things get better. Time usually helps. It's tough but you'll get through it. Think good thoughts!! No more nightmares!! Good luck :)

[idontwantnomorescars]

hey *hugs you tightly* i know these dreams are pretty scary but remember they are only dreams and least it wasnt real.

its so great that you havent cut in a while its a big effort to do that it really is.

you should try talking to someone like a counsellor about this dream it might help you to get over it.

i've had quite a few si nightmares and i know they seem so vivid which is the reason why they seem to stick to you for so long a strike a real chord with you and basically scare the hell out of you. but please remember it is only a dream, well more like a nightmare and its not reality