Triggering (SI) - Walking a post crash tightrope

[Pegasus71]

I really don’t know what I’m doing any more, I feel like I’m walking a tightrope between si’ing and not.

I don’t’ know why this crash over the last few day’s has happened. Part of it was needing to ask a very small favour of someone yesterday, it’s so stupid of me, but I just hate asking for anything, it all turned out fine, but doing it still screwed me up.

I made a simple error, which I fixed on a RPG last night, and I just felt as though I was the most stupid person in the whole world. I couldn’t bear to even attempt the next part because I thought I would **** it up and people would think I was stupid.

Now I’ve got burns on my hands because I couldn’t hold out any longer. I don’t feel bad for doing it, but more for simply the way I feel at the moment.

After two years my therapist signed me off last summer. It’s expensive, but I could go see her again, but I’m afraid of what my husband would think, he seems to think I’m fixed, I don’t know, like a car or something *sigh

I find it hard to support others, emotions confuse me, but I will offer all the help I can to others on the board.

Please excuse the rambling .

BK

[katkinb]

*sends a hug* as Im not too sure what to say...
remember that we all have ups and downs in life, it is natural. sometimes even simple things like the weather can change our mood and make things seem a little out of balance.
take care, talk to your husband about how you are feeling, a problem shared is aproblem halved...
As for the ramblings, that is why we are here....
kat x

[pea soup]

im sorry about the rough time youre having but ramble away...we all do. its a good way of getting things out of your head.
much love.
xx

[Pegasus71]

Thank you , it's nice to be able to post here, where people understand.

I'm sure I can remember a line from somewhere about - every time you get up something else kicks you down - that's sort of how I feel, so to ramble is good.

BK

[Margo]

You arent alone! I hate asking for things also. Takes me days and a whole heap of guilt and fear and dread to even ask the simplest of things. Funny thing is i would do anything for anyone if they asked me!

As for the therapy. You know telling your husband is not a bad thing. Its a sign of strength. It shows that you are thinking bout tackling this before it gets out of hand. DONT wait till its too much like so many of us do. Nip it in the bud!

Be open and honest. Im sure he will understand. tell him your fears of upsetting him.

I hope it works out!

hugs

Matthew xxx