Triggering (Suicide) - Lost, alone and suicidal

Brokengal17 · 27-12-2007, 10:21 AM

Hi Im knew here and I dont know anyone. I hope this is ok me being here.

I have been feeling suicdial for a long time. I recently overdosed. Things are really bad right now. I have tried so much stuff to help including medications. Im thinking of suicide so seriously right now.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Bioplar Disorder. And my Dr thinks i have early signs of paranoia schizopheria, as of today.

I need to talk to someone ASAP.

My psych has gone on holidays and says when she gets back than being an impatient once again will do some help.

Well anyway it would be good if i can talk to someone ASAP.

Joanne

P.S I hope it is in the correct place.

Stellata · 27-12-2007, 10:34 AM

Hi Joanne and welcome to RYL.

Yes, this is the right place to post.

Keep talking here as much as you need. We are here to listen and understand and help as much as we can.

Psych holidays are hard. I'm on mine too, just now. [a week and a bit to go...] I have Borderline traits [along with some other stuff - depression, complex PTSD, mixed PD traits and assorted anxiety..]. I can't imagine though what it must be like to have bipolar and possible paranoid schizophrenia on top. I would imagine that'd feel pretty overwhelming, especially just now when you're on your own and have just heard about the new possible diagnosis.
Its good that you're going to go inpatient. Hopefully there they can help get your meds sorted. What meds have you tried? Did any of them help even a little? What meds are you on now?
If you feel able to, you can talk to us a bit about what causes your suicidal feelings. Lots of us here suffer similar for one reason or another and we'll do our best to be of support for you at this tough time.

Brokengal17 · 27-12-2007, 10:59 AM

I have 11 days till she gets back, I can't believe that Im counting the days down already.

I am currently on 300mg of Seroquel, Lamictial 300mg twice day - I also have sereve epelipsy too and Iuse that for it too and I take 100mg of Zoloft. Was taking Luvox but got changed to Zoloft.

Im not entirely sure with the suicide thoughts and strong impulses but they could have alot to do with Nikki. She is a voice and person I see, hear, feel and even talk back to. I never really realised how this sounded.

Things are way too much for me right now. Im also in the care of the Department of Child Safety since i was 11 or 12 and now Im 17. its very hard.....

Hope this ok talking like this.

Joanne

Stellata · 27-12-2007, 11:01 AM

No worries about counting down the days... I do it too.... I used to make little charts I crossed off...

It's ok talking like this.

I'm wondering if you can tell us some more about Nikki.

Brokengal17 · 27-12-2007, 11:22 AM

Just wondering if there is any other place for us to talk about this private ?

Joanne

P.S sorry

Stellata · 27-12-2007, 11:23 AM

It's ok.

You're welcome to pm me. [follow the link in my signature]

lydia. · 27-12-2007, 11:33 AM

Heya,
I'm sorry to hear that things are tough for you right now. But suicide is never the answer. You've been through a lot in your life, remember you are stronger than this.
Just do whatever you can to stay safe, watch you favourite movie, call a friend. I know 11 days seems impossible, but we're always here to support you though it too.
Hang in there
xx

idontwantnomorescars · 28-12-2007, 10:55 AM

hey sweetie please stay strong you will get through this wish i could offer some useful advice but i probably cant.

i know this voice/person is going to be very hard to ignore but you can do it. you cant give into it and give it what it wants. my ex used to hear a voice and see a person and the only way he could get through with it was to see a counsellor and talk about it what it had done and block it out