I'm recovering from SI now, and I'm able to cope a lot better with emotions than I was before so even when I feel angry or depressed I know cutting isn't going to help, so I don't, but recently I think I've been more tempted to cut just because I miss the feeling.
I know it didn't really make me feel good, but I just miss that buzz, so I keep thinking about SIing just for that (which I know is wrong).
I feel really guilty, knowing that I want to cut just for 'fun'.
I'm 100% positive that you aren't alone in feeling like this. Lots of people do when they are going through the recovery process but it's just another stage that you need to fight through. You've got this far and that's something you should be incredibly proud of. Remember it's ok to still ask for help when you need it.
If you need anyone to talk to my pm box is always open.
Take care,
Kirsty x
I broke my 1st 8 months free, just cause I was bored and had a blade... made me feel a bit dumb but I knew it was ok because it wasn't me using it to cope, after that I went 2 years free.
Hey,
Yeah, I think people here can relate to you. I've felt similar things before, and you have to try & stay strong and not give into it.
You're not alone in feeling like this, not at all, so try not to beat yourself up about feeling like this.
I know nothing else is quite the same, but could you try holding ice cubes instead, or something like that?
Try and stay strong, it sounds as if you're doing really well. Well done. :)
xxx
I can totally relate to that. I think it's the addiction side of it, it makes you feel good so you want to do it. Hang in there and i think it'll pass.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
SI is an addiction and you are doing so well fighting it.
Think of all the downsides to how SI made you feel aswell.
Please hold on in there *hugs*
Becky xxx
I can so relate atm, im 6 months free but lately have been getting the urge to cut just because i want to feel that feeling again, i miss it but i am determined to beat this and will not give in to it.
Since I was young I've tasted sorrow on my tounge.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Within myself
I am currently:
You put it perfectly. I'm feeling that right now. I want to cut so bad I can feel it if I think about it hard enough. SI free for 17 days now. The urge to SI is as bad as when I quit smoking.
Know that If I knew all the answers I would not hold them from you.... -Jack Johnson-
No Other Way
Kaffy! What makes you do that? Every @^#$% thing and Nothing at all.
I can relate, I'm 4 years and two moths cut free and miss it SOOOO much! I miss the pain, the relief it causes, taking care of wounds after doing it... I still feel like I need it. When I'm in trouble SI is still the first thing that comes to my mind... but I know there's more to life than just SI. Stay strong, hun, you're def not alone.
Thank you, a lot, for your replies everyone. I'm really struggling right now, in fact I was planning to SI just now, so your support has really helped me.
I'm glad others can realte, I thought I was being really stupid because I don't really want to SI to deal with things, I just want to do it, but I guess that's more common than I thought.
