Triggering (SI) - happy as can't be

[Graphite]

Wellll this is a problem for me, my counselor currently tells me to just act happy and doesn't seem to want to address anything im sad about, then again I can't exactly blaim her as I don't talk a whole lot, trying to improve on that so i have gotten queit good at at least appearing happy irl (in real life), which i guess is also good except in the end im still self harming and alone.

so maybe not so good my best friend said if she ever found out about it she'd slice her skin open ten times worst then what i have my my makes me feel even more alone, luckily we only talk over the internet.

i used to cut deeply and stuff now i just don't lol sounds funny i guess. just lots of shallow ones, they heal faster i don't even bother trying to hide these ones, but no one ever notices any how, im inivisble oh i actually did stop for like a year and 6 months or something, then said meh and started again, felt a lot better for it and worst in different ways... humm comfusing also.

soo anyone have advice? acting happy seems flawed when you feel like breaking out in tears, just more alone. any comments on other stuffs or advice on anything posted would be good as well, don't worry about specific questions

btw i love this -->

[Mek]

I know how it feels to portray your happy to the world, when inside your dying. You just want someone to care enough to know the difference. The only advice or support I can give you. Is stay true to yourself, and if that means feeling crummy. Allow those feelings, its important to let things out and deal with them as they come. Rather then hold everything inside, and explode on some innocent bystander. Sorry that is all I got. If you want to chat anytime, feel free to pm me.
Huggles
Peace and Love <3
Mek

[FlightlessBird]

I have the same problems with actually talking about my issues with someone else. Typing them out I'm just fine, but when it comes to actual conversation? I'm so used to pretending like everything's alright that I just can't 'cause I feel like I'll end up in a mental hospital or something. All I can say is that it's good that you want to open up to someone and let it all out and, hey, that's what we're all here for too *hugs* However, if you wanna feel better it's better to get all the emotions out there and not hold them in...but in the end you have to do what you're comfy with...I hope that helps some..but if not here's some more *huggles* for ya.

[Mirabelle]

Possibly the worst is your post seems happy. It means you act even on here really.
I think it's counsellor's job to adress your issues and if she's not doing it, then find someone else to talk to. If you'd like to try and get in touch better with your counsellor, there's always writing a letter.
I doubt bottling everything up is healthy at all and you're going to crack sooner or later. You need to be able to express your emotions.

[perfection is a flaw]

*agrees with the above post*
acting happy when youre not is probably just going to make you unhappier in the long run. maybe you could see about getting another counsellor, it doesnt seem like shes giving you very good advice. you might be able to talk more to another person.
take care
x x x

[Graphite]

hey yas,

thanks all for posting replies

i've thought about getting a new counselor too as we don't seem to be making any head way as of late, which means since like december lol. but theres always the problem of getting a new one, had to wait over a year for first

*huggles all*