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Triggering (SI) - I feel guilty
Ok I am in the Army and am stationed in Korea. I already miss what family I have and have been struggling so hard not to SH. Now that it is the Christmas season, like every time this month comes around, my life is going down hill.
This is the month I got taken away from my mom when she held a knife to my sisters throat and ended up stapping me in the stomach.
Any ways my friend misses her kids so bad she kind of went suicidal...she got so drunk...and she doesn't even SH...
She was on suicide watch for a while and I was the one who had to watch her just about twenty four hours every other day when I told my Sergant that I have a problem with watching her.
I was on watch myself when I first got here. They toltaly ignored me.
Anyways she talked about what she did to her wrist and every day I grew so mad at her cause I told her not to talk about SH in front of me...but thats when she would lift her sleeve.
I snaped at her...and I got the worst bitching session of my life.
Then I get news that my aunt is in a comma cause some one beat the **** out of her cause her house was broken into....
I caved in today and did a scratch on my forearm. I have the urge to do more but so far my only motivation is not being but back on what I call "crazy watch"
I don't know what to do. No one will listen to me when I want to talk...and it seems like no one cares about me over here. I don't know how long I can stay here in this forgien country...I have six months left
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