Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - confused

[jac]

i'm ever so confused can you help !!! How can i still love someone that stripped life from me, that made me into a horrible dirty distgusting person. How can i still love and see him and act like everythings ok. When because of this shit my own personnel life is falling apart and the only thing in my life is my partner but everyday i loose him. How can one person you trusted and looked upto make sure you are never happy when they say all they want is for you to be happy (Can you tell me ????) . I want peace the only way is death, i live in fear everyday that it will come out and so many lives will be destroyed and i cant cope with anymore pain.


I'm soooo sad i just wanna be happy, I need to be free and at peace, i'm so many different people with so many persoanlities who am i now !!!


I WANT A MORMAL LIFE WITH HUSBAND, KIDS, 2 DOGS AND LOVING ENVIROMENT BUT I WILL NEVER HAVE THIS.


I HATE HIM BUT LOVE HIM I WILL ALWAYS LIVE WITH PAIN !!!!!!

[jdpasino]

do you have a counselor or therapist? i think it would be good for you to get professional help....you love him because he is your father, but he abused you very badly....you need to be able to get this all out....

[jac]

i've had help but nothing works and i'm on meds !!!

[Isoverity]

Don't know what the details are - but there is a false kind of love that rises up when you are tricked into hating people. That's a core of battered woman's
syndrome. People get upset and angry and then a weird sympathy arises for the culprit out of the guilt and low esteem brought by resenting. Dictators do the same thing with populations. The dictators oppress them and many will conform and think they "love" the Grand Poobah or whoever it is. Don't love or hate these people. Just see them for what they are without the emotional grudges and also sympathies that can sway.

[jdpasino]

i don't really see how meds would help since it's not a chemical thing.....just keep getting it out here and hold on