Triggering (SI) - friend finding out

[sochocgoalie]

my friend found out about my cutting last night after she saw a cut on my leg...she said stuff like how i shouldnt be cutting and how it hurts everyone around me and how i cant have a steady relationship until i start to love myself....she told me that she doesnt think my girlfriend and i will be a happy couple until i stop cutting....the thing is idk if i can stop i mean i try to and i always end up relapsing....

if any one has been through this before how does it end? does the friend stick by u or abandon u?

thanks in advance...

[Tearjerker]

Some people just don't know how to deal with it, Obviously it shocked your friend and she reacted badly. It's true when we self harm we know we shouldnt do it but there are many of us in steady relationships and we are all aware of how it hurts our loved ones. Have you tried explaining why you do it? She may not understand why you do it alot of people in my life do not understand that when you cut you often feel no pain and its a way of coping. She should stick by you just give her a little time, It most probably hurt her aswell to see that you harm yourself. Self harm is a mental health problem and a coping mechanism. Its good that you are trying to stop also remember relapsing is a part of recovery and we all slip up, I think you need to assess the reasons you cut etc find an insentive to stop, like your girlfriend, does your girlfriend know about this? if so how does she feel?
Sorry if that didnt help..
PM me if you need
Take care
Tearjerker aka Gothicshadow (Kim)

[Shimmer]

Good friends stick by you hun. Your friend probably doesn't know what to do, I know when I found out my friend cut, (didn't realize I SIed, confusing, but true) I was devistated. It could be that just doesn't understand. Link her to some nice webpages, and she'll probably stick around, once the shock wears off.

If you're trying to recover,tell her that too. She can help you along and that is always great.

hope you feel better

coley. x x x

[OneLonelyTree]

a lot of my friends reacted like that...the good ones stuck by me. some of tem stil react to my SI that way though. i've just learned not to talk about it with certain people if i can help it. the really good friends are the ones who treat SI like a normal problem...not like some freakish thing. she's prolly just shocked though...i wouls say give her some time...maybe a book about SI wouldn't hurt either....

Izzy

[sochocgoalie]

ok thanks for all of the tips...

[Mirabelle]

Your friend is unfortunately right about most points she stated, however it seems she was a bit direct about it all.
Some friends stay, some stay from a while and then stop being able to cope. It depends.
I'm not sure how your friend took it, but try and keep the communication channels open. If she's willing, discuss it with her or recommend her a book about SH. If you're willing to quit, ask for her support.

Good luck and take care

[Heather_x]

Some of my friends found out about me doing it before and they totaly took it the wrong way, they told everyone and they found it all as a big joke. i found sick drawings they had done of me. i think its one of those things you can only understand if you have experianced it yourself.

[Dark_Wiccan_69]

well, for me, my best friend cuts to, so she didnt leave me when she found out that i did it. but when my other friends found out, they told the councelor and she called my mom and told her...i still wasnt able to stop though...even with my mom watching my every move...people at my school dont get it...they all tease me about it. they dont take it seriously (but what else can we expect from preps, right?) so i dont know how it ends...cuz im still going through it...

[KMS]

It depends on your friend if you explained it to her maybe she would see where you're coming from. I have 2 friends who know but they both cut so they dont really judge me about it. Some people i know make fun of people who cut. So i dont really know how it would end if a friend who doesnt cut found out that you did.

[sochocgoalie]

what do i say to her tho...how do u tell someone who doesnt cut that it is the only way u cope?

[KMS]

maybe you could tell her why you cut and try to explain how it makes you feel