Ladies...help...

[Raven]

i originally posted this in general support and advice, but i think perhaps it is more appropriate in vets as with the older members, there is probably more chance of someone having the faintest idea what i am talking about...

i am having a really tough time at the moment and i dont feel like anyone understands. i am 22 weeks pregnant with my first child and i have never been so happy in my entire life, this baby is everything to me.
but at the same time i feel absolutely awful. i am under a lot of pressure at work, as i started a new job around the time i got pregnant. pregnancy has had the effect on me that i often feel like i have left my brain at home and i am being bombarded with targets and stats that i have to meet. i work in a call centre and i have to take call after call after call of people moaning at me and its all about how many calls i take an hour and how long they last etc. its getting to the stage i am being told if i dont get my stats sorted i will be put on a 3 month programme, where targets will be set that i have to meet, if i dont meet them i go on a stage 2 and if i dont meet those targets, i lose my job. its stressful and tiring, i work really hard but i am just not managing at the moment. and i feel like eventually, i will lose my job as i am still on probationary but i am pregnant and will be going on leave, am having trouble reaching my targets and have had 7 pregnancy related sick days, what are they gonna want with me?
at home i am trying to keep a home, while working a full time job and preparing for my baby coming. i havent even started buying things, my baby is due in 18 weeks and i feel like i have so much to get done before little one arrives. i am worrying about money and how much space we have, if i will be able to cope with baby when it arrives and i miss the intimacy in my relationship as my partner has largely gone off sex now that i am pregnant. he just doesnt feel comfortable. which also doesnt help my self esteem as i am still battling pregnancy acne and my changing shape is scary sometimes.
i am generally exhausted, mentally and physically and i am feeling more and more isolated from my friends. most of my friends are out enjoying life and wouldnt swap my pregnancy or my life for a second but people have different attitude towards you when your pregnant its like you are no longer fun to be with because you arent drinking or clubbing or whatever. i gave up my 10 a day smoking habit and my regular drinking the moment i found out i was pregnant and that was hard enough. i feel like i have given up my entire life and im being pressured from every single angle i cant breathe i am just so bogged down in emotion.
i cant stop crying and i feel like i am going to explode.
this is what i want though, i want this life, i have chosen to do this. i just dont know why i feel so bad. the thought of going to work tomorrow is awful it makes me cry and cry. i have been off for 4 days, 2 days off work with a bladder infection i still have and 2 days at the weekend and i still feel drained.
WHYYYY!!!!????

[Stellata]

Remember to breathe. :)

I've never had a baby, but I know my flatmate had lots of similar feelings etc when she was expecting.

[Mandimoo]

hey hunny, go and see your GP, explain all this, they should either sign you off or send you to see your occupational health worker whose job it is to make sure you are in a job you can do. if the job isn't suitable then the company has to either find you a job that is suitable, adapt oyur current job (on no less favourable terms... ie on the same pay, same benefits etc) or suspend you on full leave.

Also ask how early you can opt for maternity leave. I am off work with a hernia at the moment, i might go back because they have found me a job that is easier (petrol station - same job but without the lifting and twisting etc) and i have 8 weeks before I can opt for early maternity leave. So i'll go back next week, work for 5 weeks, 2 weeks holiday and then i'm off on leave.

speak to your personnel/HR manager. mand x

[sopranonut]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much at the moment. I've never been pregnant so i can't really comment on that. But i have been in a job when i've been quite unwell and have just cried and cried the night before i had to work, so i can sympathise with that, and i know how horrible it is.
Mandy seemed to have some very good advice. I really hope you can work something out.

[Raven]

thanks guys.
i really appreciate your help.
i dont think i would be able to get another job within my company, everything requires a lot of training, and we are largely a call centre so admin areas would be the only other option. as i said though, this does require training.
i am going to my doctor today for my antenatal appointment. i am taking my mum with me because my doc isnt very helpful and i am going to ask for my doc to sign me off until the new year. my partner has asked me to do this, he feels i need to take the time to sort my head out, i agree, i feel like an emotional wreck.

[Mandimoo]

the company has to provide an alternative job for you by law if your doctor states that for your continued wellbeing (and oyur baby's health) that you need a change of ork conditions. they have to meet those conditions or sign you off on full pay without oyu losing any benefits. mand x