Triggering (SI) - overwhelmed

Red_Sam · 16-12-2007, 11:03 PM

Everything just seems to be getting on top of me. I'm in the middle of extremely important college exams for a course that I have no real interest in. I'm only continuing to do it for other people and quiting is not an option. They're really stressing me out and getting me very depressed. The feelings of worthlessness haven't helped. It had been 34 days since I last cut but now I'm back to 0 which makes me feel worse. Only one of my friends know I SI, I didn't tell her she saw through my lame excuses for having new cuts on my arm. I stupidly took up smoking as a substitute for cutting but I ended up just doing both. I can't talk my friends about it coz the look of dissapointment in their face would kill me

Cazki · 16-12-2007, 11:25 PM

Hello there im so sorry to hear that your struggling. I know how you feel though. But the more negative you are the less you will achieve these things i dont want to sound preachy so sorry if do. I know its really difficult especially with these important exams stressing you out, but you can do this you just have to move on again, the more you keep saying to yourself oh im never going to do this the more you wont do it.

I kow that you canget through this you have proved yourself that you can do it. If you cant talk to your friends talk to us here we will support you as much as we possibly can. We are all here for you through this difficult time that your going through. I really hope that things pick up for you soon. Please keep fighting this through, please dont give up ok. We all have slip ups but its not the end of the world, who knows maybe next time you will go longer without harming and then after that it will be longer maybe try and set some goals to help you achieve not harming?

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

bobbiwibble · 17-12-2007, 12:43 AM

They have no reason for being disappointed in you - that's an attitude I never considered possible!

Confused, upset, maybe angry (probably mainly confused!) but why should they be disappointed??
And don't worry, I did the same thing with smoking - tried to transfer the addiction and ended up cutting just as much and smoking twice as much as I ever had before..
Everybody has slip-ups.. 34 days is amazing! We all have slip-ups, and anyway, it's just as bad going cold-turkey with SI as it is with smoking or drinking - you can't beat yourself up over it!!!
What you've done is proven to yourself that you can go for 34 days, which is really incredible. From now on you should be perfectly happy if you can make it OVER 34 days; if now it's 40 days until you crack - I'm not saying you will, I'm just trying to offer some advice for if it does go wrong - then you've progressed.
I hope that's a bit helpful :)
PM me if you need to talk xxxxxxxxx

ps just remembered the college bit.. it's up to you if you carry on the course that you don't want to do.. maybe it will be worth it at the end? that's for you to decide :) but at least just tell people to back off and let you do it your own way - they're not helping, they're just making you feel worse!
xxx

Stellata · 17-12-2007, 09:31 AM

Why is it not an option to change your college course? It sounds like it's causing you lots of distress and seems to be going against what you need for your own happiness and stability. Why are other people more important that your own safety and well-being? You do matter, and you always have at least some choice what to do with your life.