I'm so angry... please advise me

[slambrini]

i gave up alcohol 3 weeks ago because i have a massiv problem, and its been hard but i haven't touched a drop since then, after my mum found bottles in my room, like loads. she drank a lot too. so she said she would give up too. and i thought she had but i just heard her open a bottle and hide it like she used to!! I feel so let down, how dare she lecture me!? im not tempted to drink but i feel so betrayed and angry at her. what do you think is the best thing for me to do? confront her? i hate arguing...

[Neon.]

Did you get my PM hun?
My advice is to confront her, but don't argue. Kind of just ask why, and if maybe you can help? Offer your support and let her support you if and when you need it.
I know that's not much advice but I hope it helps a little bit.
xxx

[typsee]

hmmmm - tricky situation!

The AlAnon people would tell you that only the person who has the drinking problem can do something to stop it .... so only you can do something about your drinking problem, and only your Mum can do something about her drinking problem .... so its next to impossible for you to make your Mum stop drinking, even if you confront her with what you know.

The AlAnon perspective also talks about tough-love, where you cannot save your Mum from her own alcoholism, but you can look after yourself, and you can refuse to enable your Mum in her own drinking ... and maybe that does mean confroting her on what you know, and not letting her get away with being sneaky and trying to pretend everything is okay, but challenging her and calling her on what she's been doing.

It will still be up to your Mum as to whether she wants to get well or not, but at least you dont have to pretend along with her that everything is fine, when its not.

Its such a difficult situation to be in, but I really commend you on taking those steps to get sober and look after yourself slambrini, and I wish you all the best with battling this problem.

You can talk here anytime!