Yeah... so I feel like shit now... I'm drunk, tho the alcohol buzz is starting to wear off, which I think is what is making me feel this bad.
I slept with my best friend, but I found out he's leaving next week, he needs to go take care of his sick grandma who lives in another country, and he doesn't know if/when he's coming back.
And I was thinking about the guys I've had hitting on me lately, and I've come to the conclussion that they must think I'm easy... and I really fucking hate that reputation...
and shit... i don't know... I'm just feeling like crap right now and could really use some support I guess... I've just really been feeling like cutting... *sigh* it's my fault tho, getting this drunk and all... I shouldn't have, I shoulda known better. But, I made him a drink, and then another, and then I wanted to share with him... I just love making drinks for people, especially drinks they enjoy... I love bartending, mixing drinks, coming up with new ones, making people happy... and when I can do that for my friends, it's even better (usually)...
If you get rid of the pain before you have answered its questions, you get rid of the self along with it.
--Carl Jung
i know what you mean. been there. done that. got the t-shirt (or rather notch on the bedpost). if there's one thing i've learned, there is no such thing as a slut. people have sex with people for a reason. whatever that reason is, who cares. you can't change what you did. you can only learn from it do damage control and hope it was worth it. so, was it good? p (you know you're grinning right now!)
-edit-
that all probably came out wrong, but i have a feeling i'll be online for quite awhile tonight, so if you want to chat feel free to pm me
Last edited by jadedfaerie : 13-12-2007 at 08:26 AM.
Thanks for the reply... I think I passed out shortly after I posted last night lol... but yes, it was good. It was VERY good ;) And see, here's the problem I guess: It was damn good. I'd screw him again if I had the opportunity (altho, maybe sober next time... with a condom, cuz when you're drunk, you can't manage the little details like that, and you wake up in the morning praying harder than you've ever prayed before...). But he's leaving, and that's really got me down... because he's been my best friend for years. And we both wanted to be in a relationship together for so long, and it's only been during the past month or so that things have actually started happening.... and now he's leaving...
If you get rid of the pain before you have answered its questions, you get rid of the self along with it.
--Carl Jung
Hey, don't get down about it. If you really mean something to eachother you'll stay in touch, even visit eachother. If you really care about eachother the distance won't matter.
Talk to him. Keep telling him how you feel.
Take care x
You're not a slut. Especially if you slept with him cos you love him, which is pretty obvious if you've wanted to be together for a long time. I'm sorry he's leaving but if you've been friends for so long then he's not gonna want to lose touch with you. It will be ok, you're worth waiting for, so he will.
I don't think you're a slut, and I don't think anyone else would. I think if you try to stay in touch with him, then when he comes back, you can talk and if you both still have those same feelings, I think that he'll help you through.
Let me know how you are.x
p (you know you're grinning right now!)
