Triggering (Abuse) - so scared to be getting out

[guttergirl]

my dad has been abusing me
it scares me so much to say that.
its been going on for so long
and admiting it takes so much
i need to get out and i am working to do so
but i feel so guilty.
15 years of emotional and physical abuse
how do you put an end to that?
i feel guilty for leaving him.
i still somehow feel this is all my fault and i am in the wrong for leaving him.
i have very little support on this
and i am madened and upset by the whole thing.
i need some hugs and advice please people

[meganf]

hey hunni
try goin to a activity group or something like that, or try taking up a hobby that involves u getting out and about.
u sound like a fairly strong person so keep that up.
big *HUGGS*
try that and see how it goes

[Guest Visitor]

Well done for summoning the courage to admit what your dad's been doing, and especially for trying to move out. It's been going on for a long time, but that doesn't make it 'normal', and it certainly doesn't make it right. You do not deserve what he does to you. You deserve to get out.

You aren't in the wrong. All you're doing is trying to break free of a destructive and painful lifestyle - nothing wrong there. What would be wrong, however, is remaining with him. Absolutely nobody deserves abuse of any kind. It will be a bit intimidating, but I believe that if you've made it this far already, you have what it takes to get away from him. Don't believe his lies, and surround yourself with people that will help you to remain focused.

After you have seperated yourself from him, would therapy of some kind be a possibility? It can be hard to deal with all the painful memories from the time you spent with him. Finding somebody you can confide in will help build your confidence, and make you feel more secure.

I hope for the best for you, and if you ever need to talk to someone, I'll be glad to help. Take care hun.

[Pedestal]

You are putting an end to it by making a decision that will benefit you in the long run. It won't erase the past, the pain and torture of what you have been through but it will change your future.

Well done for coming here and sharing, saying the words you have said. From what you write, it's clear it is a big step.

You speak of feeling guilty and feeling you are in the wrong for leaving him. Look at your own words and imagine they were someone elses, confiding in you...what would you say to them?

Maybe it would be a good idea to try to work out why you feel so guilty about leaving, if you are not sure already. From what you write it seems that you feel you don't deserve or you shouldnt be allowed to make decisions for yourself...maybe i am completely off the mark.

He has taken away your 'rights' for so long and you are only taking back what is yours.

Take care and big hugs!

[Belt]

Do you have someone you can talk to a shrink? a friend? If not there's always us-even though we're mostly a bunch of idiots. And there's always helplines which are dedicated to supporting those suffering abuse.

Everyone who suffers abuse seems to rationalise it-but you've admitted it's wrong. That's a good step. It's not right to be treated like this-you deserve better. And so does your Dad-there must be something, 'wrong' with him-a problem he hasn't worked through. Perhaps he's unable to express his agression and takes it out on you? He needs help too, and talking to someone about this-could be the best thing for both of you

But I know how hard it is to talk about abuse-I find it kinda embarrassing. So take your time-maybe you could write a letter to someone? Think it over carefully what you're going to say? Write a hundred drafts! Til you're happy with what you've said-no one will misunderstand. Then getting help will be easier than all that akward "what happened?" "when" etc. business.

Keep in touch with us.

Robyn

[bloodletting]

hey sweetie, your dad is not your responsibility..he was the one who was supposed to be looking after you and keeping you safe all these years, and he hasnt done that..you dont owe him anything..but you do owe it to yourself to break free and make sure the rest of your life is pain free. i know its easy to just stay where you are and continue to endure the abuse, but hun once you are free from it you will become your own person, with help from a counsellor or someone you trust.
i did it so believe that you can too
take care sweetie xoxoxox

[guttergirl]

thank you all very much for the reasurence.
i am really determaned to break this cycle.
and your suport goes a long way.
i have decided to go see my doctor
at the moment i am really not strong enough to deal with this alone.
i need it to be confidencal though and i am only 15.
so i am hoping it will work out ok *brave face*
my biggest problem at present is how to tell my dad that i no longer wish to see him or speak to him.

[guttergirl]

HELP
my mother is refusing to let me stop seeing my father umless i speak to him over the phone but i am too scared to talk to him
*crys*
he is texting saying i cant just get him out of my life like this
scared

[wicked]

go to the hospital.
call the police. if you are this scared, you need help.
please call someone and stay safe.

aim--> allieinc

[guttergirl]

i have managed to get him to leave me for now and with alot of begging my mother is starting to listen to me
i shall leave it for tonight
i am safe for now and see how things go
thank you

[idontwantnomorescars]

hey there keep up what you're doing. what you are doing is the right thing, if people dont listen to you find someone who will there are plenty of people out there who would love to help you get out of this problem with your dad

[bloodletting]

well done for staying strong sweetie, and for making your mum listen to you. do what you have to to keep safe. write your dad a letter if he really needs it to be explained to him, but im sure he's not stupid and should be able to work out what he has done wrong, but if you cant face him then dont. you need to start putting yourself first.
stay strong hun
big hugs
xoxoxox