Triggering (SI) - Hiding SI equipment that you need??

Seraphsigh · 09-12-2007, 06:28 PM

Okay, this is kind of a weird question that I'm not sure anyone relates to, but just wanted to see if anyone had some suggestions!

I'm a bassoonist (it's an instrument and it's not funny :) ) and I make my own reeds (the things you blow into to make the bassoon play). Making reeds requires many sharp objects including well-honed knives and *gulp* razor blades. Lots of razor blades.
Can't get around having them and using them for that craft...gotta do it or I don't have a career.

So suffice to say, it's a bit easy to SI as soon as I get the urge. Plus, I often get extremely frustrated when making reeds, cause it's hard and a big pain in the ass, and that often leads to the familiar cycle of shame guilt self-hatred and severe anger.

Any suggestions on how to avoid this seemingly unavoidable situation?

Looking for mind games to play on myself, esp.

Thanks,

D'Arcy

blondiebear · 09-12-2007, 07:48 PM

Here's an idea for a bit of a mind game you might play with yourself. You don't want to mess up the blades and knives you use to make your reeds. You are dependant on those tools for your living. Lock them away when you're not using them just so you have to stop and think about it. And just accept that making reeds is difficult and give yourself plenty of time, even extra time, to do it.

Hugs

hoping_one day · 09-12-2007, 08:46 PM

Hon I feel for you. I'm a flautist and also play oboe and have similar situation with reeds and other temptations.
The one thing I always tell myself though, is that music is my passion, my soul, I don't want it associated with SI.
Music is my escape and one thing I won't let myself tarnish with SI.

I wish I had some real and helpful advice for you, but just to let you know, I know how scarily tough it can be when you're constantly surrounded by blades etc.
PM me anytime, if chatting would help with the distraction I am always here for you.

xx

Seraphsigh · 09-12-2007, 11:29 PM

Ah! A double reed player! Amazing. I'll try locking them away and some sort of meditation. Thanks guys. If you ever think of any other suggestions, please do let me know. :)

D'Arcy

Rain Keeper · 10-12-2007, 12:58 AM

label them FOR REED USE ONLY
that way it reminds you they are only for the reeds and not self use.

stay strong,
Rain

Amaryllis · 10-12-2007, 10:31 AM

I have a rule that I follow. One is that I have stuff that I only SI with and if that's not around, too bad. Other stuff is not my SI stuff and is useful and who knows how dirty that stuff is. So I don't use it for SI.

That made no sense. But it does. I promise.