Triggering (SI) - I want to again :(

[Smiley]

Ok, so I was in an amazing mood when I came home as I'd been to see my favourite band EVER, and they were amazing. But since coming back for some reason I've been really feeling the urge to cut, and not just scratches, but real damage Like I used to, real damage...
I'm at home from uni for the weekend, and my room just reminds me of everything I've done in there, so I'm apprehensive about going in as I know that when I do I'll do something for definate I don't even think it's a bad thing for me, I feel no regret having done it or anything, but I feel a slight sense of worry which I haven't ever felt. It's not my subconscious or anything as I feel no regret or anything
I'm really sorry if this makes no sense at all, it's all a bit jumbled to me too. I just want to do some serious damage...
Smiley
x x x

[CoffinNail]

Hey there.
I know there urges can get really strong at times, really strong...
But you gotta try to stay strong and fight it. Especially when you're somewhere that brings back memories. Memories tend to cause urges.

Hugs

xx

[Smiley]

I know I should fight it, but is there any point as I don't see the bad in actually doing it? I don't know to be honest with you, I'm massively confused

[Snow White.]

Hey hun,

There must be some sense of "bad" to it, otherwise you wouldn't be posting asking for support. I can hear the confusion in you though *squish* If you can predict when these urges are going to be strong [i.e. in your room] try and give yourself some idea of what you can do instead of harming yourself. Plan ahead if you can see these situation and keep yourself safe.

Best Wishes,
Aimee xoxo

[Smiley]

Ummm sorry to bump a dead thread but I didn't think it deserved a new thread. I'm back home again for christmas and I'm getting the urges again. I've already SI-ed in the week at uni so I know it's not just my house that triggers me off. I just want to find the sharpest blade possible and get it over with. I'm missing my flatmates so much already, they're like my second family, I've spent almost 24 hours a day with them almost every day for three months, and I don't want to not be able to see them
Gah I think I really need help but I can't ask anyone...I don't know I'm very confused again, I'm fighting a battle in my head...I think I'm losing

[nowhereman]

Could you maybe ring your friends? There must be someone you could ask for help, even if it's the samaritans or one of those helplines. You don't have to be alone, you've got all of us on here. Stay strong.

[Smiley]

No, most of my friends will be out or in bed. I'm staying online as long as possible as it's a welcome distraction, although I'm rapidly running out of things to do :(
Thanks for your support, I just don't know what to do