Triggering (SI/ED) - Wishing.

[Shawdowboxer]

I’m sick of it. I don’t think I can take another person giving me the Look and saying, “I understand”. Like heck they do. It’s an abused, two-worded escape route. I don’t even understand what the heck’s going on with me. They think I’m strong… But I’m not. Not enough.

I want to drag myself out of this downward spiral I’ve jumped into. But words and promises mean nothing, as I’ve already discovered.

I wouldn’t make a promise anyway. Not now. Probably not ever.

My reflection is screaming I’m disgusting. Hardly any of my clothes fit me anymore; I've had to make several new holes in my belt simply so my trousers don’t fall down. And even now, as I’ve isolated myself from everyone and everything, I’m not in control.

“Don’t worry”, he assured me, “You won’t feel a thing”. Oddly enough, he was right. The pins and needles have spread to my mind.

Things are different when you’ve medicated your insecurities away.

I need to breathe. Or bleed. Or something.

I can’t even type sense.

Tell me it's going to be alright... please.

[Mek]

I wish I Could be the one to tell you that its going to be alright, but the truth is I dont know if it is. Your going through a rough time, but if you want to overcome it you can with hard work and determination. Big Giant Huggles (sorry i couldnt offer more)

[Snow White.]

Hey,

You've got an intelligent head on your shoulders there. I can tell simply by the way you type. Even though you're in a lot of pain, and I can hear it, you're in that same time captivating and you know what you're talking about - even if it doesn't feel like it.

Even though you're going through a lot now, you're still making an effort even if it doesn't seem big to you and I would be proud of that. Even if you can't promise success immediately, you said you want to drag yourself out of this spiral and that is really good. Work with that.

Isolation isn't going to help your feelings, is there any way you can slowly ease yourself back in with other people, even if you just go out for a coffee with someone?

I wish you all the best - take care.
Aimee xoxo