this is all i can take. i broke it off with him weeks ago. now he wants to be friends with "benefits". i tell him NO. i told him thats all he ever wanted was sex which is true. then he said "well, what else are you good for?, your happy disposition?, your adventurous personality?, wanting to go out and actually have fun?" so now im only good for sex.
does he think i didnt know this already???? god damn him to hell!!!
ive felt like this my whole life since i was 7 years old. thats all ive ever been good for. and he just reinforced it big time. im losing it and am afraid of what i will do.
i know im a whore. always just a little girl whore. i can never get clean enough.
*cries*
(((hugs))) Apple, what that guy said to you was terrible and untrue. I think so often those of us who feel intense self-hatred feel like we're the bad guys when, in reality, we have a type of pure soul that wants desperately to open up to people. Maybe it's the people who are not so in-touch with what they are feeling that are the bad ones. They are the ones who have no problems saying things like what that guy said to you. Because we know pain so well, we try really hard to not say things to others that would bring them emotional suffering. Some people, however, don't care who they hurt.
For now, don't try and wrap your mind around what he said. What he said was crappy and unfair and it isn't your fault. He said that to hurt you. Guys say shitty things after a break-up, especially when you deny them one thing that they want. They will hit below the belt every time. It was his only defense against your rejection of his plan to be friends with benefits.
I know it's hard, but try and move past his words. They're meaningless coming from a guy like him. I know that words can hurt worse than a punch in the face, but remember that this guy is speaking out of anger. You're not a whore and I believe that deep down inside you know this. You may feel like one sometimes, but you know that you're really not. And someday, there will be a guy who will come along and appreciate you for more than just sex. Most guys go into relationships just for the sex. It's the rare few that have deeper intentions, which is why when someone meets their soul mate they refer to them as "the one". If everyone that came into our lives had pure intentions, we'd end up marrying everyone we date. Guys don't do those things because you're a whore. They do it because they're guys and some guys are just out playing the field. But, there are men out there who will be able to comfort you in your dark moments. They will hold you when you cry. They will stand by your side to battle the demons. They won't care that you would prefer to stay at home and they would never, ever say such terrible things to you as that guy did.
Ack, I got to rambling. Please, Apple, hang in there. This too shall pass and hopefully your eyes will be opened to the fact that this guy was a jerk and that it isn't through any fault of your own that he said these things.
Hey im still struggling but wanted to try and comfort you
please dont have anything to do with your ex boyfriend, in any shape or form, you need to really distance yourself from him,
he has no right to say these things to you,
but you must block his mobile number, or change your number, and not allow him anywhere near you.
hold on and concentrate on you and not what others are saying,
please dont say that about yourself and hold onto what you have in your life, you and your son,
do not allow your ex any further chance to get back at you break all communication, change your number, warn him away from you.
Its not acceptable hes saying these things to you, How is he talking to you
by mobile , to your face, you must put as many barriers up against him
to stop him further hurting you, warn him to keep away and not contact you.
offers gentle hugs
love
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
This might be a bit too martian and the way that a bloke would look at something like this, but just sod the a-hole off. This guy has nothing of any value or worth to offer you. You deserve better than a selfish idiot like this. It's probably no help, but I'm angry with him on your behalf.
This says everything about him and none of it's good. You did well to say no to him. Well done you. That proves that what you think of yourself isn't true.
He is clearly a complete idiot. I am sorry he is being like that. I'm sure you are none of those things he said and he has no right to say them to you at all. You are worth more than that and certainly don't deserve that sort of treatment.
I'm sorry I cant be more useful. I know it's hard but at least you are not so involved with the wanker anymore.
A, you know what he said isn't true. It's hard to see right now, but it isn't true. It's very not true. It wouldn't be true of someone else in your situation, so why is it true of you?
Thank you for letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in
sorry but youre well to be rid of him.
Hunni, he said those things because he KNEW they would upset you, he wanted to hurt you...disgusting little thing he is.
Hang tough hun, you are better than this and him. Try (hard as it is) to put his words away from you..see them for what they are...lies meant to hurt you. Dont let him, hes not worth it.
so sorry hun
Thats AWFUL!! (((HUGS))) I hope you're ok. God, I can't get over that, it's just so cruel and even though I barely know you I feel like you're a person who doesn't deserve that.
Last edited by TouchVanDerBoom : 07-06-2007 at 01:00 AM.
Reason: typo
You know before i read this i was going to say why the fu(k dont you leave him because he does nothing but hurt you. BUT YOU DID!!! w00t!!!
He is a stupid selfish prick that needs castrating and his testicles fed to a herd of goats!
Rachel thats crappy what he said to you. Its his pathetic "male" ego thats hurting. He IS pathetic.
He is not worth the ***** on your shoe so dont give this idiot the satisfaction of upsetting you. Hes not worth it and you are worth so much more.
Blimey i have soooooo wanted to say all that for such a long time! Im so pleased you dumped him!!!
Please take care!
Matthew xxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I'm sorry you were in that position. Saying something like that about you and your father can only be meant to hurt in the most vicious way possible. It was sick and degrading, and no wonder you felt dirty. Would it help if you thought of feeling dirty and the urges that came from that as intentionally from him. Therefore, it was what he wanted you to do, and therefore you can tell him exactly where to stick it. For me, it helps to think of urges as something some (unidentified) "other" wants me to do, and therefore I won't, just to spite it. Would that help?
That's NOT all you're good for; it's not all anyone is good for. You deserve better than that, so I guess it's just affirmation that you did the right thing.
PS sorry I've been gone so long.
The trouble with killing yourself to punish someone is that at the end of the day, they're still alive and you're still dead.
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
rachel that guy doesnt even deserve to be in the same postal code as you. you arent a whore - if anybody is a whore HE is because he is the cheap stupid bastard.
i also think it is a good idea to just ignore him from now on - he doesnt deserve to speak to you ever again. the phone company can block his number if you call up and ask - they may want to know why and you can just tell them the truth, that you have been receiving threats.
i hope that you really can see that you are worth so much better.
xxxooo
i doubt i'll ever speak to the prick again. im feeling a bit better about the situation today. im learning to be single although i am talking to someone online, but she is about 6 hours from me so we havent even met. but its nice talking with her anyhow.
thank you again.
loves.
xx
he is the one that keeps begging to have you back. none of this is your fault.
you're better than this rach, so much better, you deserve the very best. ignore him. im so sorry he has upset you like this. if i ever meet the bastard (either of them) i swear i'll snap em over my knee and feed them to cannibals.
grrrrr. /rant.
love you rach. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
i'm just wondering is the reason you got with him in the first place is because you knew the position he'd end up putting you in?
yes,i know i probably didn't make sense, but i've read several of your posts (on the other ryl) and in all of them mentioning a boyfriend everything he's done you already knew he had the potential do. it just seems like you actively go after guys who know will injure you, and in that sense that is a form of SI for you (for many of us actually).
i say, stop having boyfriends until you know that you can have a relationship that isn't based around the need to feel like a 'dirty whore'.and pay the $15 you'll probably need to get your cell number changed because he's like **** on your boots-totally unnecessary!
Gather experience. . . Look at what you should not look at. A feeling of anxiety is the sure and certain evidence that you should do this -Clive Barker
I've never understood why people consider youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their own- Margeret Atwood
sade's right. you need to break the cycle. *cuddles*
he's just jealous and angry at himself because he knows he has blown it with you. *snuggles* not your problem anymore. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
