hi im wondering has eny of you contacted samaritans ,did it make things worse as for me it has ,i havent family nore freinds so i was forced to contact them but they playing whith my head naw and dissturbing it im in a mess whith my head more naw !!!!!!!!!
hi to you both ,i was e-mailing them ,they made me be awere of me and way i am and how abused i bean and am ,and how much problems i have and how alone i am and how diffrent i talke and how i see sentances,and they qwestion way i want out of all ,and it became so well it brought out my saicopathic and saicotic and made my sciso bad as night mears too i realized from them my diffrent personalitys came out and i hate that coz i worked so hard to hide them ,i feel bad and craying all time naw,you see im told i have 11 pages of daiognoses but i dont want them ,i was forced to have a knew dr as my old one traped me in his room but naw i only see my new dr once a month but he carnt talke to me he carnt handel my nasastictic personalaty he dont look at my cuts ,so i was forced to speek to the samaritans but made me feel crap .
It sounds like they helped you see the truth as to how things are in your mind. The truth can be painful, devastating, a shock. It'll probably take a while, and gentle, courageous support, to come to terms with this.
I know that for myself, acceptance of the abuse I have been through is an ongoing journey. And when people like managers or other than my closest friends - anyone other than my therapist and my close friend, really - get to know about the behaviours, or even the existance of my alternate personalities, I still feel shame and vulnerability. You see, they evolved from abuse that had to be a secret back then...
But you're the way you are because of what you've been through, it's not your fault. You deserve caring, compassionate support.
Do you know about the confidential 1:1 support available here on RYL? You can talk with a Supporter either via Live Help when it's online - link at top of every page. Or by emailing support@recoveryourlife.com
thanks to you ,you could be right i just see people as a thret i only see things in a confersaishion that my mind see,its hard ,i am in dinaile coz i dont see wat others do ,i dont know i think thats way i have shut evry one out cos i got sick of them saing how im diffrent and telling me of my diffrence personality ,well im on my own im thinking no one needs to know but i go out on benders and im diffrent i have trained my self to act and be diffrent at diffrent places but this is geting mixed up naw so im panacing and feel missrable and harm my self ,as for my last dr he was in a mood and he two weeks praier to the door insodant tray to force meds on me that was 3 times stronger than wat they should have bean and he dident have the athoraty to give them to me but my cemist said i dont want you to start taking them until you speek to your dr as not safe and eny how he should have given you a starter pack and closely monaterd not on a friday when you got no help as it was daingerose ,so i asked him to put it in righting so he did ,but i never got a chance to give him the proof he asked if i started them i said no the resson ,i never got to finish sentance he lept to his feet and put his foot in front of door and arm across the dor i had to shout for help he aventuly moved i left ,but its brought back all wat hapend to me in the past ,i had no choice but chainged my dr ,i havent got a psyshiarist ,i dont know wat i should do apart from staying in doors ,my knew dr i see once a month but he dont cear ,sory this was long but im answering both of you at same time ,
no i never had one i was asesed for 3 years and then asesde again reasently you say it sounds confusing yes it is for me to ! i dont now wether im coming or going ,you see my last doctor told a lie he told the people that was asesing me i had a cearer nurse and all sorts but i never had nothing thats way he got into truble for puting me on antysaicotics ,well im broken down no one to turn to ,you see my last dr so me evry 2 days ,that was a safty net to me ,i dont have this service from my new dr or a talking one ,so you see im a person no cear one in a million that hasnt acses to eny help and suport as no place for some one that has illnes and condishion so we get out casted , me and i will be on our own ,i know it sounds far fech thats way i dont have freinds but to be honest whith you i have one witness to all so thankfully i sharnt be acused of it all hapning in my head .
he was suposed to fefer me but i found out yesterday he eint and he is avoiding me ,no he wornt see me he says once a month ,yes you is corect im siting on a leter since july stating i have 11 labels and im complex and need long term saico and spn and social worker and others ,but you know im pi d off as i havent had the leter explained and still not got help and my knew dr well carnt say wat im thinking but stuff them all they have just pi...d me off complitly naw ,i have phoned the two spesialist that assesed me back in july and explained to them im being messed around and still no help and the letter they gave me still not being explained to me so f...k them they do wat they want .i know i have probs but it dont mater ill keep to my self as in end no one wants to help ,ta for your comunicaishion no one else nows how to talke to me as my spelling is crap and my vews are diffrent so cheears
thanks to you both i aprishaite it and ive have bean messed around futher again im suposed to see a saico to have my daiagnosses confermed but i said i dont want to be seen by a bloke i was forced to make an apointment to see this man and i really dont want to see him as ive bean abused all my life by blokes and whith my last dr traping me in his room well so in end i said id go see the man saico but naw they saying he is leaving at xmas and a big black man taking over so im back to sqwere one as black men hate gays so ill be well it be baies i dont now wat to do i have one thought at moment but i carnt say wat it is but doesnt involve living ,i dont now wat to do or think im at a loss ,and my speling isnt good i know sory ,its all medical jarger i dont understand ,but no freinds or family to help ive shut my self away from humans .i dont know wat to do ,
