I am running out of cope

[not_so_insig]

First of all I am not sure if this was better off in ED so feel free to move it Jenna.

I am very sad today. It's 10 years today that I lost my friend Kat
She's the person referenced in my signature. She died so young and in extremely tragic circumstances. It was also the anniversary yesterday of my cats death who I lost a year ago. It's also coming up to my other cat's anniversary of her death though she died in 2019. Not only that it's my great aunts death coming up too.

So many thoughts and sadness are being triggered. Mostly that I want to binge eat. Now when I binge eat I eat junk during it. I also restrict in the days afterwards.

I have prn to take but I don't know if I should take it. Idk what I want from this thread other than hopefully sharing means that I binge less. I dont feel like cutting myself but I feel so overwhelmed with the tragedies coming up.

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry you have had so many losses and are having to deal with a lot of them together. I have no suggestions, sorry I'm a bit of a mess myself, but I wanted to say I hope you can find a positive way through this. One that all of these people and cats would want to see. I hope someone else can offer something better. Take very good care of yourself.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay your reply means a lot. Even getting it out has helped. My friend LF who knew Kat too is very sad because a friend of hers (not Kat) died recently so I cannot reach out to her.

I am planning to take prn so hopefully that will help.

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad it helped to get it out. Keep posting if you need to. Can you and your friend not support each other? I know it's hard when you're both dealing with grief though. I hope the PRN does help. Would you phone your CPN for advice?

[not_so_insig]

I might try and get hold of my cpn tomorrow if I feel no better. Hopefully things will be better once I get through today. If I do binge tonight then hopefully it will be less than what I have done in the past.

[one_step_closer]

Apart from PRN, do you know what else might help you get through today? I really hope that things will feel better tomorrow, hold on to that. I really hope you don't binge because that might only bring you down further afterwards. Have you had urges to binge before that you've managed to get through?

[not_so_insig]

I have taken prn now. Well at least one of them as i cannot find the other. I have decided to try drawing my cat E and getting my happy box out after tea. Then if I feel like still bingeing I can't say that I havent tried distractions. Maybe try to watch Kat and I's favourite programme if I feel up to it. If I can find the other prn I will probably take it.

[one_step_closer]

Keep going, you can get through this day.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay. I am now cuddling a bear called Terry. He is so soft. My cat is being extra affectionate rn and won't leave me alone. I don't know if he can tell that I am sad. I have yet to binge eat.

[one_step_closer]

How are things today, Dawn?

[not_so_insig]

Apart from feeling groggy I am ok. Didnt binge eat last night. But the groggy feeling is down to the prn as it has that effect when I take it. It usually wears off after a few hours. I slept for ages again probably because of prn. I have nothing to do today so it doesn't matter if I am not quite right today.

As I feel ok I don't think that I will phone my cpn. But if I get worse or do binge eat then I will try and get hold of her.

[one_step_closer]

Well done for not binging, I'm proud of you. I hope things continue to feel ok.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay for giving me support. You are a star xxx

[one_step_closer]

You're very welcome. Here if I can do anything.