Life feels empty, I feel lost

butterfly hearts · 06-06-2021, 10:00 AM

Just over a year ago I had two housemates I loved, a job, I was studying, volunteering and in a relationship.
I became mentally unwell again after many years, starting about a year ago, probably longer.
Now I can’t work, exited study, and left my partner (something I’d known I had to do for a long time), and I don’t feel home at home. My favourite housemate left and I’m adjusting to new people but it’s just not the same. I feel okay when I’m around my family like my sister and her people, or my mum and her people, but on my own I feel lost and alone. But I can’t spend all my time with them!
Although my mental health has improved a fair bit my life is still empty. I’m trying to enjoy all I have in this moment, but it’s really hard. I wonder if I’ll ever find a partner to share my life with, and waiting on government benefits assessment means I can’t work yet. Even when I can, I don’t know if I like my job anymore really. I don’t know if I have the confidence to do something that really means something to me. I’m in my early 30s and I just feel like my life is in pieces. I’m in a place where we are in lockdown again, after several. Feels like it might never end.

Pi.R^2 · 06-06-2021, 10:16 PM

Hello, sorry to hear you've had such big changes to contend with. It sounds like at least one of those (leaving your partner) was actually positive, despite being difficult too, so well done for initiating that change!

It must be confusing to not know if the job you're working towards being well enough to do, is even the job you want to be doing. Do you have any ideas of what other fields of work you could be interested in? Maybe while you're unable to work in paid employment you might be up to trying a small amount of voluntary work to try out different types of work. (Obviously I'd not suggest even thinking about this yet if you're too unwell though)

It's pretty daunting trying to branch out and meet new people but often it's really worth pushing yourself to do it. Is there anything locally that you could get involved with, perhaps to do with any of your interests, e.g. a craft group or a sports club?

I can tell that you try hard to find the positive in difficult situations and I hope that soon things will get easier and that those positive things will become easier to find :)