I got offered a job as a Suicide Girl and my boyfriend said i cant do it because its porn. (which its soft core, ill admit it) but i see it as artistic nude/Pin-up girl, not porn. whats your guys' opinions?
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we are engaged, but he never really lets me do what i want (very anti-pierced anti-tattoo) and this is something I really really want to do. I made a Pro-Con list and it came out even. So im really very clueless as to what i should do.
help me! Post your opinions, Pro-Cons anything to help me make the choice
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain
I believe in true happiness. but at the same time...i look around and dont see it anywhere.
pretences are a way of life. we fake it. to keep each other going.
Eesh, that sucks, could you talk to your boyfriend and make him understand that this is something you really want to do? I mean its only a bit of pin up, like you said it's softcore and if you guys have been togeather for 4 years, he should trust you enough to be comfortable with you doing it.
I mean, I can understand him being concerned about it though, there can be a lot of negative stereotyping around porn so maybe he's just worried about you? perhaps if you offered for him to come with you to shoots and whatever he'd be more comfortable with it.
The fact is, it's your body right? And if you have the confidence to do it then I say go for it! I'd love to do it if I had the proverbial balls.
It's your life honey.
If you want to do it, you should do it.
I understand why he might be concerned, but maybe to ease his feelings, as Cat said, you could invite him to a shoot or something?
Ultimately, do you want to miss out on this opportunity just because someone else doesn't want you to do it??
x
Pros:
Its your choice.
Its something you want to do.
Im guessing it would make you feel good about yourself.
Cons:
Itll upset your bf.
its your life and your decision what to do with it....if this is something you REALLY want to do maybe its time to show him that he doesnt control what you do.x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
This is my 2 cents... if I was the boyfriend I'd be extremely unhappy about it... and not just because she would be getting nearly naked in front of people.
It kinda reinforces that stereotype of women as objects which I have really come to loathe over the last few years. I can't see what's liberating about posing nude or nearly nude, wearing mini skirts so people can see a lot of leg, or anything anymore... because ultimately it's putting power in men, in how they want to see their women.
Sorry about the slight rant, I've been really pissed off with sexist advertising lately.
Last edited by Dark_Ronius : 29-11-2007 at 09:08 PM.
Reason: changed a word
I wouldn't have a problem with my bloke (or woman for that matter) doing something like this. . . I dunno . . . I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
When you're doing the actual shoot it's professional not sexual... and when people are looking at you, it's not all that much different to people seeing you and thinking "phwore she's fit" or "I wouldn't kick that outa bed!". I think things like that are only demeaning towards women when they are exploiting women (ie: women NEED the money but don't want to be taking part). Otherwise it's the womans choice what she does and if she's happy to do it - why is that wrong? It's just a body at the end of the day.
If it makes YOU feel good you should go for it, be proud of your body, and I'd be proud of my partners body and proud that they had the self esteem and self love to flaunt it.
On the other hand, I think you should talk this through with your bloke first but ultimatly do what YOU want to do. :)
Hunger only for a taste of justice, hunger only for a world of truth, for all that you have is your soul.
Aside from the boyfriend issue you need to be careful with SG, they've had some troubles with treating their models badly before, selling off photos to porn websites and the like.
I don't know so much about it myself, but if you do some research into it you can find out what happened. I'm not trying to put you off, I may well be wrong - it's stuff people have told me afterall- but I just want you to be careful incase something does happen.
<3
If it's what you want hun, go do it. After all you don't want to look back years down the line and think Sh*t! I should've done that! Or (even worse) in the middle of a row with you're fella years down the line shout "Sh*t! I didn't do that! And it's YOUR fault!"
Play the game out
Amor Vincit Omnia
Dad 10/11/2008 Always our sunshine, I'm still playing for the town hall clock
Hah I hear ya'. Something similar happened to me. Here's the thing, the SG is a cool thing, at least the way I see it (I agee that it is more of a pin-up girl thing than it is porn), but the truth is you won't make that much money from it and if you love your boyfriend, which I'd guess you do since you're engaged, I think it wouldn't be worth it to loose him or get in a fight with him over being naked on a web site for a couple hundred bucks. When the next SG comes along and you are old news and the money you got has been spent you'll want your boyfriend back.
I think that it's not worth loosing your bf over, however you should talk with him about him not letting you be yourself, he should love you for who you are. Really, if you don't mind loosing him or having him be mad at you for doing this then go for it, it's what you want. But if you truly love him and don't want to risk loosing him then don't do it because what you'll get from it is not half as important as what you'll loose. The perfect thing here would be for him to approve and support it. Try getting him to understand...but most guys would not be happy about their girl being naked on the web so try to understand him too.
Sometimes we must make sacrifices for love. If you love him then I think you should let this go for him.
There was something I wanted to do that my bf didn't approve of...what did I do? I asked him if I could do it but told him that because I love him and don't want to hurt him I won't do it if it botheres him. Turns out it did bother him and so I didn't do it...why? Because what I wanted to do was not that big of a deal and he had a solid argument and good reasons for not wanting me to do it...and so I will not compromise something as important as my relationship with him over some silly thing I wanted to do. I sacrificed for him, for us.
Last edited by Ileana : 29-11-2007 at 09:36 PM.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
It kinda reinforces that stereotype of women as objects which I have really come to loathe over the last few years. I can't see what's liberating about posing nude or nearly nude, wearing mini skirts so people can see a lot of leg, or anything anymore... because ultimately it's putting power in men, in how they want to see their women.
That is exactly right.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
People end up aspiring to be like that to please men who assume that to be like that is normal nowadays... it's everything I hate about the world rolled up into one thread... that's why I feel it is demeaning to women (ironically I am a bloke writing this- A course I have been doing in sociology and feminism has really opened my eyes).
More people end up feeling more depressed also that they can't look like these women...
Definitely do what you want, not what he wants. I absolutely adore the suicide girls. Maybe you could try and explain the situation to your boyfriend? Sit him down and show him how it isn't really porn.
It kinda reinforces that stereotype of women as objects which I have really come to loathe over the last few years. I can't see what's liberating about posing nude or nearly nude, wearing mini skirts so people can see a lot of leg, or anything anymore... because ultimately it's putting power in men, in how they want to see their women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Ronius
People end up aspiring to be like that to please men who assume that to be like that is normal nowadays... it's everything I hate about the world rolled up into one thread... that's why I feel it is demeaning to women (ironically I am a bloke writing this- A course I have been doing in sociology and feminism has really opened my eyes).
More people end up feeling more depressed also that they can't look like these women...
true true.
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
Someone said that they have a bad reputation of sorts...here's the truth, it's not a job. Don't call it a job because it isn't. You'll do a photo shoot, you'll get like 500 bucks, you'll be a memeber and your pics will be up on the site. That's it. If you are well liked (keep in mind that there are hundreds of SG on the site and a lot of competition as far as looks go) you'll get to do anothet shoot, some more money for this. Now in the perfect world you'd become the most liked girl in there and have photo shoots every week and get paid every week...but that is not how this site works. Ask anyone that's ever been a SG. They get new girls all the time so they can have a lot of variety on the site and so this makes it almost imposible for any girl to get any kind of special attention from them or have this become a permanent job. Most of the girls have one photo shoot and that's it. They're done with you. They get what they want (which is your pics on the site), you get your money and get to be on the site and then they move on to a new girl.
It won't last so consider that when you make your desicion. This is like a random, one time kind of thing.
ps I'm not trying to talk you out of it, I swear, just telling it like it is so you can weight the pros and cons more easily. So you can know what you're getting into and consider for yourself if it's worht it or not, depending on what you want.
Good luck.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
I know a girl that does Suicide Girls.
From what I've understood it's abit of fun, and well, thats about it, she takes her clothes of, has photos taken, they go on a website, she gets money.
I'm in exactly the same boat as you, although not with suicide girls,another alt modelling website. My boyfriend is not keen on the idea,but he understands its something I really want to do. With decisions I ask his opinion on, he said before, he'd like me to take his opinion into account,but if its something I really want then I shouldn't not do it because of him. Ultimately I think you need to compromise.
