I feel so alone

madelinevmartin · 20-11-2018, 06:27 AM

I've been drinking myself to death for years. No help from family. I can feel that I'm dying. I go off alcohol and have terrible withdrawals, nightmares, sleep paralysis, sometimes seizures. After that I can't sleep for a week, can't eat, feeling like bugs are biting me all over. The only thing that makes it all go away is alcohol. I keep going to meetings and thinking it will help. I've been doing that for years, have a sponsor, and I'm working the 12 steps. I just keep going back to booze to erase everything. I don't know what I'm looking for.

Straight 3 · 20-11-2018, 07:38 AM

Hello and welcome to ryl.

I'm sorry things have been so bad for you. Sound like you want to get off the poison and you're doing the right things, maybe underlying mental health issues are bring you back to it. I know its a hard step to make, but mentioning it to a doctor could help, there are things they can do to ease withdrawals; just need to find a compassionate doctor is key.

AA is a double-edged-sward, in that - it can help and also be a reminder and trigger ( at least it was for me )

Don't give up because you're worth it. I wish you luck.

Zurg · 21-11-2018, 10:15 PM

If you can find a doctor to help you, ther are meds that can be used against withdrawal symptoms. I quit drinking 7 years ago and i was given meds for the first days to ease the symptoms.

If you are close to death now, what do you really have to lose by giving it another try???? It isn't easy, i think we all know that, but it would be such a shame to lose you to this beast. There is more to life than this. More than the eternal guilt, the cravings and the doubts of whether you can even live without alcohol. And of course you can live without it!!!! It doesn't own you. You belong to yourself.

I didn't quit until they told me i would die if i didn't. Took me long enough but better late than never. It is never too late for change. And you are brave and capable enough. I believe in you!!!!!