I've been looking around on these message boards about SI and also have been noticing where people are from. A lot of people in England accept and get help from doctors (including stitches, medicine for mental stability, etc) and it seems to me that in the UK SI is more of an acceptable act. Am I correct or mislead?
I say this because in America, it's social taboo to SI. I don't know of anyone of my friends that self harm. It's barely known. And there are a lot of misunderstandings. So help me out here, tell me what SI is like in you Country, State, Province, City, whatever you'd like.
Last SI: March 1st 2008
Before that: September 29th, 2007
I live in Indiana in the US. To SI is to basically declare yourself "a little emo kid". It isn't taken very seriously. People who actually need help don't get it.
i think even in the US it the taboo ranges wildly from region to region. i just moved to VA where it is basically unheard of and no one talks about it and i've basically been told that i have to cover up all the time at work or i would not be hired at my job. where i moved form i felt fine wearing short sleeves and talking to people who asked questions. it was a more upscale educated area(not that all of VA isnt just the area i'm in happens to be a slightly less educated back hills kinda place). but in all...yes i've noticed what your saying as well. and i have often wondered the same thing. there arent many treatment options in the US because its so taboo and the ones that are available (like SAFE) sometimes dont work out. i wish it werent so but we ourselves make the taboo by being so secretive about what we do. its natural to fear something you dont understand and most people who dont SI dont understand it at all...
I need you to know...I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the Light.
Yeah this is pretty much what others have said, but in my area being an SI-er will get you one of two reactions from people: most often, you just get labelled an emo and people think you are just trying to get attention. Or else they are horrified and treat you like you are made of glass or you might jump off a bridge any minute. I don't know anyone in real life who has SI-ed except for one friend who only did it a couple times and never had a problem with it.
I've never told anyone in real life besides my family and best friend and doctors, so I've never had to deal with any of that labelling business. But I did have to deal with some nurses in the ER and then the psych ward who didn't think I had a "right" to be cutting because I haven't been abused or anything. Just goes to show you that even the people you'd most expect to understand might not.
Sorry, I'm rambling, but my point is that yes I agree. From what I've seen, the U.S. is a lonely place to be a self harmer.
Laura
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa
I think it probably varies between different subcultures as well as by geographic region. Among a lot of teenagers where I live, self harm is fairly well known, but only as an "emo" thing or as attention seeking. It's not that people haven't heard of it, or that it's taboo exactly, but it's viewed as more of an uncool fashion statement than a serious issue. And then there are the school administrators and parents who go along with these populations of teens, and tend to view it as a problem in teen culture that they need to fix (similar to 'sex bracelets' or certain drugs).
Where I'm from, I think that people seem to be fairly familiar with it. I had a friend in high school who cut (and was pretty open about it), another friend at summer school who actually cut in front of people, my sister cut for a while, and I know a couple people at school now who have very obviously self-inflicted scars. There was also the terrible moment in psych class when we talked briefly about SI, and people seemed to know about it, although in all fairness, I was probably the only non-psych major in the room, so it wasn't exactly a representative sample.
I think that within the medical community (especially among mental health professionals, but I think other health care providers as well) it seems to be fairly well known/understood, or at least not viewed unfairly negatively. I've definitely heard of people having bad experiences with doctors seeming resentful of having to treat a self-inflicted injury, and even with therapists not understanding it, but that's never been my experience. Not that I've had a lot of contact with professionals about it, but so far I haven't encountered anyone who I thought reacted inappropriately. The only time I've had non-psych doctors find out about it was when I had minor surgery and they insisted on putting an IV in my left arm. The anesthesiologist asked if I'd burned myself (okay, so there was no way those cuts looked like a burn, but who knows...) and then didn't say anything else about it, and the surgeon just commented that the bandaids I had over a couple of the cuts were cute. Neither of them made a big deal about it or treated me any differently afterwards (and the surgeon didn't mention it when she talked to my mom before I woke up), which I think was the appropriate response given that I was there for something pretty specific that had nothing to do with that, and I was already an adult at the time. The other people I've had contact with about it are my psychiatrist who I told about it, and my mom (who's a psychologist) who found out when she read my journal, and I think they've both handled it really well. They both seem to get that I'm not going to just stop doing it, and that it's not the primary issue (i.e. there's an underlying reason, which has to be dealt with first). My psych prof also seems to understand SI pretty well, although she doesn't know that I do it or anything so I don't know how she'd actually deal with it, but her explanation of SI in class was pretty good.
Emily
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(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
I dunno about anyone else in the US, but health insurance is a huge issue for me. Most people, even if they have health insurance, mental health isn't covered, which makes it really expensive to get any type of help....
Right, you get help if you're lucky enough to be covered or if you can spring $120 per visit plus money for meds. I saw a bumper sticker once, "America eats it's young." I laughed until it started sinking in how true that was.
If you're in the dreaded bible belt then good luck with finding understanding people. You're as likely to get an exorcism or a lecture from a preacher as an appointment with a shrink. I don't SI, but in America having any medical issue whatsoever is enough of a problem.
I haven't read though all the replies, but I see a councilor at a subsidized clinic, that means people only pay as much as they can afford. Right now I pay 45% of total, and it's $90 a visit for me, plus any meds.
If I had to see someone once a week I would be spending over $350 a month, if I was paying full price i would be spending $800 a month.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Interesting. I was wondering the other day how self-injury is veiwed differently in the UK than the USA. I notice how most self-injury related organisations are UK based.
I live in London, and it seems most people have heard of self-injury. With younger teenagers you're likely to be called a "wrist-slitting emo", but alot of people are actually quite understanding, even if they don't understand WHY people self-injure they won't judge or anything. Chances are though, you're gonna get hassled if people know you SI. I've managed to deal with the bullying, personally.
The main problem I've had, however, is school policy. Although the school nurse has helped me get counselling, I've nearly been expelled because of bringing blades into school, and my cuts "scaring students". My counsellor came into the school and spoke to the deputy about it, so now some teachers are going on a training programme, and I have Time Out privilages.
So, I wouldn't say it's totally understood, and stereotypes still largey dominate society's perception, but it's easy enough to get help if you want it.
And free. America needs an NHS.
"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid." "Yeah."
I've found it very, very difficult to get help for my mental health problems in the UK. The NHS is good in theory, but in some areas there just isn't the resources. I was told a year or so ago that I couldn't see a pychiarist. Luckily they changed thier mind and I've now been refered.
To be honest, no doctor has ever commented on my self-harm. I've mentioned that I self-harm, but they've never asked how/why/where/when. They've never wanted to know any information. Its as if they don't see it as a problem.
Its all or nothing
And nothings all I ever get
Every time I turn it on
I burn it up and burn it out
most often, you just get labelled an emo and people think you are just trying to get attention.
the psych ward who didn't think I had a "right" to be cutting because I haven't been abused or anything.
I think comments and judgements like this are disgusting.
None of my friends dow here know, but quite a few of my friends in London do. The opinions have been very mixed.
I live in the UK and self harm is alot more well known now than it was when people first found out about me self harming about five years ago. I was seen as attention seeking and it was ignored.
Now there is alot of debates about it within the news, but it is still massively missunderstood. (Anyone who read the article that was published in the Daily Mail can agree with that.) Most people still see self harm as attention seeking and some thing that only 'emos' do where I'm from which is incredibly frustrating!!
To be honest, no doctor has ever commented on my self-harm. I've mentioned that I self-harm, but they've never asked how/why/where/when. They've never wanted to know any information. Its as if they don't see it as a problem.
I think with the UK it varies widely in different areas, like the doctor I had was really good about it, she asked where and how often and checked I was seeing a counsellor and stuff like that.
As for accepted by the general public, I wouldn't really say it is, I think a lot of people just think you're an emo or a psycho. That said my close friends have been pretty good about it, so I guess it depends on the person.
I dont think its more accepted by society here in England.Alot more people seem to know what it is now but are still missunderstanding and judgemental.
It is easier to see doctors and be treated and everything because we have the NHS so most of the time treatments of many kinds are free of charge, which makes things easier than most places but still difficult to break through at first.
I know there are labels flying about.Ive never personaly had any thrown at me thankfully but i do Hate them a lot.I hate stereo type of any kind actualy but im sure we have all been guilty of it oin the past.
I live in the UK and i was asked to leave my private girls boarding school due to my self harm as they thought i might be a bad influence on the other girls and it didn't look good on the school. I think though that if i had been on a state school i might have been offered more help as it's actually a lot harder to expell kids (private schools can basically kick out whoever they feel like). I was never jusged or called names by any of my class mates though (as far as i know!) and there were a few other girls who cut too, but didn't let it get so out of hand.
I've found that it's really, really hard to get any decent talking therapy and if you can get refered waiting lists are usually around a year. They seem to dole out drugs a lot more readily as the NHS just doesn't have the resources for enough counselling.
However, it's a lot easier to get counselling in child and adolescent services. I was told that when I was with CAMHS and i didn't believe them, now i wish i'd made the most of my counselling then!
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
I agree with the comments that its not more accepted in england. Its just because of the NHS that treatments are more openly available.
Now i wouldn't know about the acceptance of doctors/psychiatrists etc due to the fact that i have never told anyone about my S.I.
However i do believe that within society it is not accepted. By adults its frowned upon and seen as an adolescent selfish act. To be honest i don't believe my parents would ever see it as a serious problem. They'd think i was being childish and petty and would probably treat me like an alien.
I think in teenage culture its seen as a stupid *emo* attention seeking act.
I think it depends on your support system, whether your friends truly love you for who you are an want to help you feel better. Those kinds of friends should stick around.
I don't think its too different between the US and the UK
"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay"
im in the uk, and for me opinions vary a lot from person to person. some people are brilliant,others are very quick to get out the "emo" label, and others admit that they just don't know enough about it. i don't think that within society as a whole it is seen as more acceptable to SI here than it is in the US. With treatment i think it can be seen as being easier to get treatment because of the NHS, but again the way doctors respond to it varies from person to person i think.Some can be really good, others can be really,really bad.
"Your smile is the most courageous thing I've seen"
Mostly doctors that I've seen have asked if I'm getting help and leave it at that.
This one time at a doctors office I felt like a circus freak because people were pointing and staring.
I go to the free clinic, but hopefully I'll be changing to a subsidized place where I'll pay $8/hr. Meds are expensive though. Mostly people don't understand.
