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Old 19-01-2018, 11:46 PM   #1
MissyShovel
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Depression - Social Services

This will be a long one!
I'm new here....

So I've suffered depression for as long as I can remember.
I had to go back to work when my youngest was 6 weeks old and I really struggled with little - no help from anyone, including my partner. I had 3 children, a full-time job and the house work to deal with.
It was so hard to cope. Fast forward I got pregnant again (with my 4th - over the moon with joy) ...my middle child got bruises which were of 'concern' still not sure what they were from but still they were there. Definitely weren't caused from abuse.

The house was an absolute bomb site.. Not to the extent where we had flies, maggots or anything like that but still bad. Social Services got involved and my older two went to live with their dad while they investigated where the bruises came from - youngest baby (my partners) went to live with partners mum. They were away for 6 months. Finally everything was cleared and the bruises were basically said to be accidental but the house was an issue (it was sparkling clean once the kids were gone - we sorted it. Not a thing out of place since), the fact we let it get that bad they put it down to neglect. Which was awful. Absolutely awful to hear.

I feel like such a failure. My older two are still living with their dad. This bloke never did a thing for them. To the point when I worked I had to pay a child minder to have them so I could actually go to work, as he'd rather get stoned. I'm not saying he's still like this (I haven't a clue) but he was for the 7 years we were together. It's heart breaking. How much I failed my children and I just can't get over it. A month ago was the final court date that said the older two say with their dad because they're 'settled' and my youngest baby and unborn baby will be returned to me.

My mental health is really taking a battering. That and being heavily pregnant isn't helping.

Anyone know how I can help myself? I've tried anti depressants before. I was on them a few years and they just didn't do anything. I'm struggling to the point that I have suicidal thoughts.. A lot. If I weren't pregnant I don't know what I'd have done by now.

I want to speak to my husband about it but I really struggle to talk... I find this sort of thing easier - where I don't have to sit in front of someone and cry.

Sorry it's so long. Hopefully someone can help me

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Old 23-01-2018, 02:36 AM   #2
Catlbxox
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Scotland

Hey im not so sure i can help but my situation is similar to yours. I have ocd intrusive thoughts and im waiting on psychiatrist appointment as they think i may also have bipolar or bpd. I have 4 children and a year ago my 2 middle boys went to live with their dad as i was not coping. I have been to court but only gained access every second weekend which is devastating. It makes you feel like a failure i totally understand that and he has just started seeing a new girl who is already posting videos of her with my children on fb after 2 weeks! It absolutely broke my heart when i seen it and i ended up self harming which i have been trying my best not to do. I also have started obsessing over suicidal thoughts almost all day every day but we need to remember our babys need us. No one can replace their mums. Would you feel comfortable talking to your health visitor or doctor about the way you are feeling? Im sure with being pregnant they could get you someone to talk to quickly. I found speaking to someone i didnt know really helped when i had bad depression in my second pregnancy. Feel free to mail me anytime if you just want a rant or are feeling really down. Hugs to you and stay strong for your babys xx

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