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life comes in waves ....I feel myself drifting
Hello there I m Aoife and a longtime member of this forum. I ve visited on and off for many years and I strongly believe its help me get to this point. Frankly, it hasnt been an easy journey for me ( I suppose its that way for most as well). I have struggled with SH for the past 18 years and its been the one constant thing in my tumultuous existence. When I look around me at the people I grew up alongside, classmates, acquaintances, neighbours, co-workers, I see people who are all moving on in life, achieving goals, making meaning memories, forging lifelong relationships, having children, getting married, being happy. I have none of the above, I spend my life as an outsider looking in, most mornings I wake up dismayed that I ve managed to wake up at all. I cannot remember the last time I felt relaxed or I daresay happy. At this point in my life if I were to disappear no one would notice, it would not matter, I do not matter and strangely enough that though comforts me as it absolves me of any guilt or misgivings. I ve felt this way for most of my life, I ve struggled to get to that point of one day it may feel different but it hasnt in the past 18 years and now I m quite tired and fed up. Thank you for listening to the rantings of an exhausted and broken person. Take care and thank you.
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