It's been a long while since I have been able to manage a part time job, studying for a degree and also having a bit of me time. I want to be able to manage a few things without constantly feel physically, emotionally and mentally bogged down.
Obviously I have tried apps like wunderlist which work great for certain things and a calendar but I have a huge tendency to move something such as studying for another day. Obviously I cannot move my work schedule as that's on rota system and I have set days, contracted hours etc.
Also for a long time I have been quite horrible to myself and it's starting to read it's ugly since starting my new role. I have tried to get for
It in the past but I found not useful and didn't progress with it long term.eveehthinf is starting to add pressure to my life and my brain isn't making any sense.
It's almost like my a part of my brain isn't sensing I'm doing a lot yet the big brain is doing a lot. You I am working part time four days a week, studying a degree and just about fitting a blog in.
Obviously I know that I set days for work and deadlines for coursework etc but it's just trying to find a pattern that works for me so that I don't feel too tired/in pain and so that I don't feel as if I am doing activities every single day day of the week and running myself into pure exhaustion.
My health at the moment isn't great although I can work in my role and study I'm in a lot of pain throughout the day and in the evenings it becomes unbearable to point that I feel as if I am having a heart attack and my lack of enjoyment in daily life is also making things more mundane. I have been almost robot-like. There's rarely any sign of human being in me at times.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Don't take this the wrong way, but it might be worth taking a break from uni while getting your health back in track rather than running yourself into the ground.
I am not allows unfortunately I wish I could but my course is on a 10 year life span and if I don't complete it by it's due date the 20th August 2018 I have to repeat the course from scratch and everything I have done 2/3 of it (that's four modules) gets thrown in the trash can/garage truck.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
As my university is from home I don't have access to many facilities that I need in order to complete my work. So I have found that the best way forward is to see if I change my way of working from home, I have just picked up dictation and I have started to use to compose my messages, do my coursework etc and it helping a lot when my pain is really awful. I have also found that I can use my dictation on my Evernote so I can compose my notes for University rather than writing by hand (takes too long) rely too much on typing and hurting my hands more. I have also asked for all of my material for my course to be sent as audiobooks that I can sync with my laptop/iPhone and i can listen to them as a better option. It allows me to be more remote and i can study while I'm on a train/waiting for a bus so I am not tied down to sitting too much and plus it helps me to learn the material better. I am also getting hearing aids in the next the couple of months which should make studying, work and daily life easier.
I have recently had my access to work assessment at my workplace and things are looking really positive. Work has agreed to change my seat, I now have my managers chair as all the rest in the office are pretty knackered from over usage. People in my office slouch around like they are in Bahama's all day. So the backs are constantly busted causing facilities to make frequent visits., they have given me extra support for hands and that's helped tremendously. I am also getting assistance with organisation and managing my work better so I'm not stressed. They've given me my own desk with my adaptions so I don't have to sit next to miss loud nails and they are thinking of getting me some dictation dragon software for my computer. I have also made a few purchases myself, for example, I use a specific pen to write with as the bog standard biros they have at the office, are really difficult with Dyspraxia and the pain condition combined. I will be speaking with my doctor on Wednesday to discuss the inflammation of both my hands and my sternum inflammation and I'm asking about stronger pain killers something that is longer acting as standard otc doesn't work for me and just leaves me feeling more in agony.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Things at work have taken real downturn at the moment and I am struggling to cope with it all. I have messed up numerous occasions and it's reality affecting my stress levels. My mental health is going crazy and today was a big meeting with management to discuss what's been happening and they are concerned that i may put a residents life in danger because of my lack of hearing and not been quick enough and it's really put me into utter stress. I don't mean the healthy stress we all experience once in a while that slows to get project done. It's completely messed things up for my overral concentration levels and now they said if things don't improve with their adjustments they are considering letting me go and giving me the boot.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I am moderately hard of hearing in both my ears and sadly I had a situation at. work where I couldn't hear a elderly gentleman screaming for help as he had fallen. He's okay but it's left me in complete panic as my job could be ending an s I really don't want end up in that position as I would severely after my overral mental health. I have tried the double headset plantronics with system (mitel phone) however I still can't hear the residents and they do not cancel the background office noise. I already have hearing aids coming on the 3rd October however I am stuck of what to do in the mean time. I am going to ask if I bring my headset from home I use on my playstation and MacBook if they are compatible with the phone system. As I know that they cancel practically every bit of background noise.
I have tried increasing volume on computer, the headsets and on the system however it's not loud enough to hear the elderly residents.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I don't know yet I will try every option known to man and keep fighting day to day. I have also been writing things over and over in notebook at home homes taking down all the notes from work. I even do when im not in work and I have also started denying myself things no shopping after work, no chocolate in the evening with family, no telly. Just work study sleep repeat.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I just can’t mentally grasp that at the moment or feel it’s appropriate as I am not good enough and if want to be successful and not be useless failure I got put my back into everything until my body and mind screams help. I want to but I can’t justify it myself until one day week in Christmas and I finish uni.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
That sounds really difficult, though hopefully bringing the headset from home will be a viable option.
Are your employers aware of your hearing difficulties? Have you had an opportunity to see occupational health about what adjustments could be made to enable you to do the job?
Hey all
I am really messing things up at work as I am having periods of disaosixstiln when I am at the call centre. During these periods I cannot remember calls, what person has said or the process of what’s going to happen next? Even though I have been trained some many times I can’t seem to the retain the calls I also have quiet periods of where there’s no calls and there’s nothing for me do. Obviously I don’t want to do my OU work while I’m at work and neither do I want to look at Facebook feed or read a book as non work related material isn’t allowed on the desks.
I’m also quite stressed and find that during these periods of Tess I don’t recognise it and zone out it. If was concisiously aware that I’m getting stressed I would try the mindfulness. But it takes lot of vital mistakes at work whic could be life threatening for my stupid brain to think “hang on try distraction technique? Not gonna work if I’m in a call. I could mindfiulleness but hang on that I ant gonna work. As the brain can’t be in w call, dissociated and trying to think of a flower 💐 or irrelevant nonsense like the chair I’m sitting on a black office chair.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I don’t know, when I was unemployed I didn’t care if I didn’t remember things or if I had periods where I had no memory of anything happening. But now I have got a job it that I love I want to stay in it for a long term and don’t wish to be fired. I have eliminated every single cause, I sleep okay every night 8hrs, I don’t wake up knackered, I eat okay and now I have a job I have something to look forward to every day. I exercise enough such as going through the station to work to the town centre for intention of going for walk and exercising. It’s just something that’s causing my brain to naturally switch off when it’s sttessed at work.
So I look at ways how I can reduce stress and these do not always apply as I have no way of knowing I’m stressed in the first place. I understand it’s the body’s fight/fligh/freeze response and I understand the mechanics of it but it’s often too late before I have realised it’s happened.
I could try relaxation techniques before work to see if that makes a difference
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
With all due respect, are you sure it is wise for you to be working in the position you are currently in while you are having so many health problems?
As I have said in another thread about your job, I really think you do need to look into taking time off while you sort things out. Or even looking for another job where you are not responsible for the welfare of others.
Well I can’t exactly leave my job as that would really affect my confidence and my mental health as although I am struggling at the moment I’m also having really positive moments in my life as I am going shopping regularly in town and it’s really lifted me up. I have more energy now and things mean something to me. I am getting things done and being more adult in my approach to life. I’m also taking more interest in my appearance and I’m able to chat to family and not feel left out, bored
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
You obviously didn't take in my whole post. I didn't say just leave your job, I said lookfor another job that isn't going to cause you the issues you are facing.
I’ve already spoken occupational health and they’ve been touch with the access to work team and I’ve had assessment and now I am waiting for the extra support to come in. It can take anywhere between two and six weeks for it all to be put in place. In the mean time I do not have energy to look for other jobs plus do my course. I am literally running on full power and drinking coffee to get me through the day.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
