Is it just me that I'd rather be psychotic than obese?
Because I truly feel that if I stopped the depot the weight will just fall off. I never used to be obese, but then I started antipsychotics and went IP and then gained a ton of weight.
I hate myself, I really do.
I want to be a healthy weight and I've tried everything, healthy and unhealthy and nothing works. Thinking about going to my GP to ask for weight loss surgery because being this size along with everything else makes me suicidal.
I ****ing loathe myself.
Sorry, I don't know what I want from this thread, advice maybe. Tips? Anything will do.
When I first gained weight from clozapine I had the exact same thought, that I'd rather be ill than obese.
I still have those thoughts now to be completely honest.
But then I'll look back on old FB statuses or support threads and I'll see how unhappy and scared I was when I was ill, being in A&E and hospital all the time etc.
You can lose weight while being on the meds, its just a bit harder for us. You have to find out what works for you, food wise and exercise wise if you do any exercise.
Asking your GP for weight loss surgery is an option, but maybe you could ask her for a referral to a dietician or something?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I can sympathise. I often consider stopping my anti psychotics to lose weight. But I know I will get ill and it isn't worth it, but I still can't help feel like I should stop them. It's very frustrating.
Beckie has some good advice, and it's given me a little hope.
It's definitely worth speaking to your doctor about since this is obviously causing you distress.
I gained a ton of weight on various anti psychotics. Couple that with a serious drinking problem and you can probably imagine the disaster.
Anyways, i was angry for an awfully long time. Mainly angry at the medication. Like you, i was sure i'd much rather be crazy than being fat. Until they tampered with my meds and i did indeed go completely bonkers. I spent more than a year becoming more and more psychotic and delusional. It wasn't pleasant. In the end i was too scared to go outside, i had isolated myself completely because other people either scared me or they made me completely furious and i didn't even feel safe in my own flat. I was convinced the entire world was plotting against me and i had made intricant plans as to how to take revenge. I still get the terrible thought sometimes that if i had not been referred back to treatment i would have ended up doing something quite terrible to completey innocent people.
Anyways, tl;dr: Don't stop your meds until you have discussed this and have it approved by your team. Also, i managed to lose some weight while still being on meds. It is not impossible. It is hard and it sucks but it can be done.
What helped me was to calorie count. I used an app on my phone. In fact, i am giving it another go to see if i can lose a bit more.
Also, you can always have chat with your team about yuour concerns regarding your weight. As someone said, they can refer you to a dietician. It is worth exploring other options before stopping your meds. Just sayin'.
I gained a lot of weight too on antipsychotics. My psych worked with me to find one that was weight neutral for me (Latuda) but I still have weight left to lose. I am encouraged by Cacoethes' (Beckie's) journal on the Right/V board. She puts a ton of work into losing the weight and she is having results!
Last edited by Aardbei : 14-08-2017 at 05:20 PM.
Reason: Removed weight numbers
Thanks guys. Although I feel better that I'm not alone it still sucks that it effects so many of us. I have bouts of thinking the medication is death and other times I know it saved my life to an extent. I'll ask my GP about the dietician, Beckie but I'm with SW, would that matter?
Thanks for the replies, Lorraine and Zurg. I really appreciate it. I somewhat remember being off medication and I landed in IP numerous times where I'm told I was off my rocker.
Hey Kristin, thanks for replying. I was actually on a weight neutral anti psychotic along with the depot but hated the fact I was on so many meds so I stopped it. I wonder now if I could've persuaded my psych to stop my depot and continue with the Aripiprazole but who knows. You're right. Don't want to embarrass you Beckie but you're rather inspirational. You're doing what I want and I wish I had your motivation but I guess I'm trying as I'm texting my slimming world consultant for help and seeing a stop smoking person tomorrow.
This post is a mess. I don't know if what I'm typing is conveying what I'm thinking. I hope it does.
Wow thank you for saying im doing well!
It really does mean a lot.
Im not sure if you can see a dietician while on SW but it cant hurt to ask.
And well done for going to see the stop smoking person!
I dont know how long you've been doing SW for, but for quite a while I'd be gaining and losing like a yoyo. Mostly gaining tbh.
It just took time to figure out what worked for me!
I really believe you can do it!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Hey, good luck. I just wanted to add that i promise SW can work properly and it might take a long time especially if meds make it harder to lose weight but it is worth doing sensibly.
It could definitely be worth bringing up with your GP to see if they do have any suggestions that might help you though?
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
Beckie, Katie (?), i know SW works, I obviously see it with you and also what I see on FB. I'm going to do my best with the diet starting tomorrow and stay for image therapy to talk to the group about my problems with it as that's what my consultant said.
I'm stupid, I know losing weight is hard but I thought SW would be a breeze because of the stories i read about people losing x stone in x months. I didn't know you yoyo'd Beckie. I'll stick with it the best I can.
I got my patches and inhalator. Gonna use them tomorrow.
I can see you're really trying Mary and it's brilliant that you are!
And you aren't stupid. I thought the same when I started.
Good luck with the stopping smoking too!
You're taking all the right steps. It will be hard but i know you can do it <3
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Good luck Mary. I can see that you are trying with that and not smoking and I admire you for it. I am also trying to lose weight, so I appreciate how frustrating and difficult it is, especially with these meds, but it is possible and we can't give up hope.
I can identify with meds etc making losing weight really hard, so well done for continuing to look down different avenues and persevere. Sure you may need inspiration from others right now but I think you are an inspiration in yourself, because despite difficult obstacles you are still willing to try. That's awesome.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
What are the reasons that you quit slimming world? Maybe there is an alternative that would work better for you.
Are you able to get another opportunity for a dietician appointment? It might be worth a try.
Have you spoken to your gp about how difficult you are finding it to lose weight and/or cut back on smoking? They might have some other advice for you.
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
I quit SW because I wasn't losing just gaining and it was embarrassing having it called out in group. Also, my group leader encouraged competition which I didn't think would be healthy for me.
I don't know how to get another appointment, the woman called me last Friday saying there was an event in my home town and could sign up for a dietition or something but I was at my uni city getting drunk for 3 days so I missed it. My ****ing fault. I suppose I could wait for her to call me again and see if there's anymore events nearby before I return to uni.
I'm pretty sure my GP will just give me the numbers for the people I'm already with.
There's no hope. I'll either die from complications from obesity or smoking and right now I'm prepared to let that happen. **** sake.
It definitely sounds like SW wasn't working out well for you and it's really good that you recognised that the competition aspect wouldn't be healthy for you and didn't get sucked into it.
Do you have a number you can call this woman back on to see if there are any other events? I know GPs can refer to dieticians too especially if you have struggled with ED behaviours.
I don't think you are really prepared to die from those things because you are being super honest and posting here about it. Even if you think you will let it happen, there is at least part of you that wants to change things I think you are just a bit lost as to how and can't see the way forward at the moment. There will be people that can help you though, and I do think you should try your GP and explain how important it is to you - if they give you the numbers you already have then say so, and ask if there is anything else they can suggest or any referrals they can make.
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
Thanks, the woman called me today and told me she's willing to see me about my weight/diet next week so that's something. She's also smoking cessation so hopefully I'll actually try the patches instead of buying fags and smoking nearly the whole pack like I did on Saturday.
I have to lose x pounds in a very short space of time for me to have surgery and I just don't think it's possible. I'm so scared and I'm doing nothing to help myself.
Today I saw dead headless bird in my gardem and part of me thinks it's a sign of bad things to come. Other part of me thinks it's nothing but it's still hard to rationalise.
