Positive Post - Finally I could cry.

[Canary]

I haven't been crying for months. That does not mean I am not sad at all. I couldn't cry while watching sad movies. My tears had been gone. I tried to cry, but no tears came out.

But today, I was able to cry after receiving a message from my Japanese friend. I was so desperate, so I asked him about me. Like, "What are you thinking about me?" And "What does my existence mean to you?"

A few hours later, he replied me. As I am not from Japan, he said speaking with other country was a good experience, and he liked it.

I was surprised that he recognized my suicidal thoughts. He said that he felt too sad when he saw a post I wrote, "I just want to take my own life." He was both sad and confused. He thought why.

While reading his concern, I started to cry. My tears came out and made my blanket wet. I cried for more than 10 minutes. I continued reading.

What I remember most is, "If you die today, nothing is reversable. But if you decide to die tomorrow, you can think again before you act." I was moved by his advice. He cared about me more than I thought.

The last sentence was "I will wait for your reply." So I replied him to say thank you, and other things. I sent messages about how I feel about him like just he did it to me.

I hope he replies to my message.

Thank you, Tadokoro, one of my best friend.

[Escaping Sadness]

Your friend gives good advice. Thank you for sharing this, I needed that advice today.

[yoyogirl]

That's so normal if you have youve haven't cried in a long time, I was told by an occupational therapist to think of it as in the same way as way as unused muscle. If you haven't cried in a long while your brain has recognised it and has its own way of coping and now you I you get upset it feels foreign to you. It's the same physically if you have been on medication to flatten mood/mood stabilisers.

[Nymphadora Tonks]

It can be cathartic being able to cry after a long time of having shut that emotion or ability down. A relief, almost.

I'm glad his words connected with you. And I hope you return to them when you feel that low. To re-read those words can really help. Keep reaching out to him, and others.

Have you thought about getting some professional help to talk about those suicidal thoughts? It may be an idea if you haven't yet.