Contains sexual abuse - Hes a monster...

[SunshineSoldier]

In October 2015 someone who i thought was a close friend when i was dealing with a very differcult time in my life raped me.
It's only when i look back that i can see that he was scrambling my head, he was making everything worse.. not at worse as he then made my life..
I lost nearly everything because of what he did.
He went round my work telling everyone his little story acting like he was the victim, alot of people sided with him of course because i was going round telling everyone what he did to me. i wanted to pretend like nothing happened, And the only reason he was able to do that is because my managers broke confidentility and it took the police iver a month to arrest him.
During that time and ever since my life has been an absolute hell.
Struggling with jobs and they dont care what ive been through at the end of the day because they dont understand what its like and are just thinking abiut the company.
He took my social life, my friends, nearly my partner, my confidence, my trust , my hope, my self esteem and much more...
I saw his twice last week and i felt so sick and had panic attacks, why the hell does he get to live his like all happy like after what he did to me and i dont...
he's now doing the same thing he did to me to another girl who also works for mcdonalds, im so worried what will end up happening to her.
But he's probably told her his version of events and she believes him ...he's an incredible liar.
im meeting up with the harbour centre in a few weeks but i dont feel like i should close my case i mean its been going on a long time and i want it to be over but i cant let him get away with it and do it to someone else i just cant... i dont see how they wanna close it when there is quite alot of evidence and its the polices fault anyway...it took them over a year to speak to key people for statements and by the time they asked those people they couldnt remember anymore. oh yeah and the police just listen to gossip. oh and they talk to everyone that he wanted them to but the friend i had at work they didnt bother with... tell me thats fair .. because it isnt .... victims just get to suffer more and more.
i dont know what to do anymore, i want to hurt myself badly, im not eating or sleeping properly, i =m gonna lose my job becausei cant cope, and then my life falls apart bit by bit.....

[Sooty]

You've been through absolute hell and although you say that you're not coping and you've lost your friends and social life, from your writing I think you sound incredibly strong to be where you are at the moment. Even if you don't feel strong, you really are amazing to get to where you are now.

It's great that you're going to your local Harbour Cenre. Have you looked into a local rape crisis centre? This will be a place you can gain real specific advice, support and compassion both emotionally and practically with the aftermath of rape.

Keep going strong, this seems like an impossible time but things will get easier. Keep in touch.

Sophie.x

[panzerlang]

What you're feeling is rage. Righteous rage. And you have adopted the mantle of The Warrior, fighting both for your own justice and to stop him from doing it to anyone else. It's a hard thing, isn't it? It takes an incredible amount of strength and it hurts.

So be proud of yourself and wear the wounds with pride. In years to come, succeed or fail, you'll always know you stepped up to the plate and put yourself in harm's way in order to fight.

Good for you girl, respect!