I'm diagnosed bipolar type 1. Currently on 150mg and on 50mg lamotrigine titration g up to 150mg
The 50mg lamotrigine has stopped the mania but added tiredness, but also just ridiculous mood swings! I was so low I was suicidal this morning, I'm guessing the lamotrigine has now worn off as I'm feeling giddy and my eyes are on fast forward again.
It's a bloody Saturday so I can't speak to my CPN!i don't even know the purpose of this-do other people get mood swings with mood stabilisers?
Ive been really low, and in regular contact and honest with my CPN via emails. I saw her on Friday and she tentatively suggested hospital and I immediately cut her off with a NO!
But it's so scary to think that I need to f'ing sort this s* out before I end up in an acute ward (cry). I've been in mother &a baby units the past few admissions and all the staff talked about how lovely they are compared to acute wards!! I have a big lovely new house and it's my safety zone and I don't want and couldn't leave it. Just the thought is making me cry. But she knows that so she didn't push it.
Dose has doubled of lamotrigine so I'm bouncing between being low and tearful and really stressed and agitated.
Part of me knows this is just a blip, to just ride it out, and the other part thinks everything is awful, I'm just seeing more clearly now. I have nothing, I am a burden and damaging to my children. I hate myself.
I have a two year old and a five year old so I have no choice but to keep going.
Not sure if this will be helpful but I've found a few non-medication things helpful when I've been in manic, mixed and depressive states.
Get an oil burner or diffuser and try aromatherapy. It sounds really stupid and I was never into it but I've actually found it quite helpful. I googled different effects of essential oils and you can get ones that are energizing, uplifting, sedating, soothing, calming, and all sorts. You can create your own blends to make really helpful mixes that can affect your mood. Just add a few drops of each to an oil burner or diffuser and lay back and inhale deeply for a few moments.
I've also found meditation and reflection helpful. Even simple things like making lists of your daily goals then at night your daily accomplishments. It can really calm your mind.
This IS just a blip and you DO just have to ride it out. It will pass, just like all your other mood episodes have in the past. You're not a burden you're just sick right now and need extra support.
WOuld you considor a short term admission, just for a week or so to stabilize yourself?
I think there's a big risk it would make me much worse. At home I am constantly surrounded by ways of ending my life or doing something to myself , and I have control over whether I do- and as I'm still here, I obviously am managing to make the decision not to. But in hospital I would feel watched and managed and out of control, and I'm worried I might backlash against that by suddenly becoming more risky and determined and not as thoughtful as I am now, if that makes sense?
Also who knows how long it will take to find a medication that works. My husband works full time so we have no childcare and can't afford nursery and wrap around care at school. So it's not practical.
I try mindfulness and meditation, sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes it worse, as I have a toddler screaming at me and a five year old crying I won't play whatever game and I just feel like the shittiest parent and just urgh.
Unfortunately when I was elated, before I was on the mood stabiliser, I arranged to go ride horses for people. So today I've got to go see someone about a horse, and it just seems pointless. But if I don't go, then I know this person won't let me try again another day, so I have to.
Mood has really lifted today :) I'm on 150mg venlafaxine and 100lamotrigine so I hope I'm not becoming high- it's so easy to over think every mood! But I am so so much better.
It was ok, riding tomorrow so I hope it works out!
I feel amazing. Not in an ill way, just being off the lithium I feel alive! I haven't felt these feelings in years- I'm finally enjoying sex and it's actually feeling good, rather than just nothing. I'm elated but only because it's so nice to feel so great, after being low and just 'ok'. I'm a bit worried about going high, but I'm on lamotrigine which is a mood stabiliser, so that should stop mania (diagnosis is type I bipolar).
Hi- just popping in to say it's been over 2 weeks and my mood is great. Perhaps slightly hypomanic at times but the lamotrigine with venlafaxine combination seems to be working well ��
