Please Help was this dissociation ?

Uglyducklin · 02-09-2016, 06:44 PM

I'm so sorry to post again but this really scared me! I am not in a good place and I have been restricting fairly heavily. Yesterday evening I was standing in my bathroom and everything started to feel strange it was like I blinked and when I opened my eyes again the bathroom was different. It was my old house and I walked on to the landing and it still looked like my old house! I could feel my abuser and hear him but I knew that the place was wrong it should be where I live now. I started screaming for my mum and she found me curled up on the landing. I was really shaken once things looked more familiar. It was really odd. Did I dissociate? I'm so scared and confused.

Uglyducklin · 03-09-2016, 04:55 PM

It happened again I'm so scared and confused please help!

Horizon · 03-09-2016, 08:45 PM

It sounds like it has elements of a flashback and dissociation.
I know how disorienting these symptoms are - do you have a professional you can talk to about this? They might be able to give you some practical tips for what to do the next time this happens.
You might want to look up some grounding techniques and try them out so you know what will work best for you when you are caught in one of these episodes.

Uglyducklin · 03-09-2016, 10:44 PM

Thank you I need to get better at grounding I really fail at it I think everything is getting on top of me. I don't know this fat body doesn't feel like mine either.

Horizon · 04-09-2016, 01:42 PM

Try not to be so hard on yourself about grounding - some of the exercises don't work for everyone and it's a lot of "trial and error" to get to some that help you.
You say your body doesn't feel like it's yours - that can be part of dissociation.
Grounding can help people feel like they are back in their body, if that makes sense.

sherlock holmes · 04-09-2016, 06:21 PM

It sounds like it could be dissociation. I wonder if the fact you are restricting heavily was a big factor? If you're not eating enough then other symptoms can worsen due to the starvation.

Uglyducklin · 04-09-2016, 09:01 PM

Thanks Sherlock and horizon ! I still feel not with it and I gave had flashbacks but none where my entire reality warps and becomes different . I have therapy tomorrow and I will definitely mention it. Everything just hurts and I need to disappear

Uglyducklin · 08-09-2016, 11:04 PM

I feel like I'm losing it ! I keep losing where I am or just caving in and riding the flashbacks out! I feel so lost . I'm trying so hard to ground myself but the violence is awful. I feel constantly sick and I have lots of intrusive images. I'm exhausted . I need to destroy this body. I feel like a drama queen but everything is getting on top of me and I'm losing my cope. The support I'm getting isn't quite enough as I'm really floundering. I've been told that assessment with trauma and dissociation service is June 2017 it was hoped it would supplement the other trauma work. I feel so needy and lost ! I need to destroy myself x

yoyogirl · 18-09-2016, 08:04 PM

Have you spoken to someone about it?

Uglyducklin · 18-09-2016, 11:25 PM

Hi yo yo girl . Thank you for your reply . I have tried talking about it but I'm so frightened and embarrassed . I gave the cmht a list of triggers and behaviours. I'm away for four days at a conference and trying to be normal is so hard. I'm exhausted already. I just need the fat gone and to disappear .