Help

chinahorse · 31-08-2016, 01:09 PM

I feel really really low and depressed.

And I feel awful. I've had to say no to a major promotion because of my supposed mental I'll health. Why can't I just hold down a job like a normal person? I had to Tur down a contracted salaried job. Basically my dream of financial stability because I'm am idiot. I can't work and I can't get benefits and now my cpn is saying that everything just emotional difficulties.

Everyone totally invalidates how scared I feel. And I feel my needs aren't ever going to be met. And I don't know what to do.

Elmer · 31-08-2016, 04:05 PM

I'm so sorry Lillie. I wish I knew the words to help.

Maybe it is time to get an advocate involved regarding your mental health care? You deserve so much more than they are giving you. Is the Cassel off the cards?

I want to tell you to keep going but I know it's not that simple. I will say that I truly believe in you, you are so much more than you think you are.

Love and stuff.

chinahorse · 31-08-2016, 06:12 PM

Everything is taking 5oo long. I feel awful. And abandoned.

chinahorse · 31-08-2016, 06:19 PM

And the won't sort put my meds so I'm addicted to loraz and I just a want to take loads and sleep.

Bellatrix · 31-08-2016, 09:05 PM

CAn you cut down the lorazapam usage yourself? LIke take less each day until you're weaned off it? I know that's hard though.

What is it you want from your team? Like specifically. If we know that we can maybe help you find that support in different ways, like voluntry support groups and therapy.

What's going on with the cassell referral? Can you put pressure on your cpn?

Uglyducklin · 31-08-2016, 09:19 PM

I'm so sorry things are so difficult. I love Jodie's suggestion and I hope you get news on the Cassell soon. You can only do your best and it's clear you are doing tha. As you said to me nothing changes without you changing it. Hang in there xx

chinahorse · 01-09-2016, 01:00 AM

I want someone to call and see how I am and to help me make crisis plans. I need help with money and day to day life.

I keep asking r about ge cassel and she keeps fobbing me off.
I want a meds review to go back on Amisulpride or haloperidol but they don't have anyone for me to see.

Uglyducklin · 01-09-2016, 02:52 PM

That's so crap of them Lillie! Forgive me if I have got it wrong but do you have a new care coordinator or con now or did someone leave ? I hope they sort something out. So they do not have someone to do a meds review? I'm so sorry to hear this xx

chinahorse · 02-09-2016, 08:58 AM

I've text my cpn and she won't tell me if the cassel have said anything to her. Another week passed and she's not pushing it. She won't tell me what's going on.

I'm so scared. The thoughts hat are being put in my head are scaring me.

I can't explain. I'm numbing it out with pills and purging.

What am I supposed to do until word of the cassel comes through? What do I do when it's a no? I can't keep going. I don't know 2hat to do. I've tried everything. I want to die. I feel so alone.

Wonderland. · 02-09-2016, 11:15 AM

If your CPN will not tell you what is happening with The Cassel, do you think you would feel able to ring the CMHT and speak to her manager? You have a right to know what is going on, it is your care/life after all.

Uglyducklin · 02-09-2016, 06:29 PM

Hugs I'm so sorry Lillie. I agree with Wonderland perhaps the CMHT can let you know ? I'm so sorry they are dragging their feet it is not acceptable when you are not coping like this xx

chinahorse · 02-09-2016, 07:08 PM

The cmht are even worse. They are investigating a formal complaint I made about them a month or more ago. Also her manager is the one investigating the cm plaint so I wouldnt want 6o talk to the manager.

If 8 can manage to make it through to Mondays appointment with my cpn I will be more demanding of specifics.

Not sure if I can manage not to take an od on Sunday hough.

chinahorse · 03-09-2016, 06:11 PM

Don't know what 5o do.

The pain is making everything harder. And my mood is so so low but I keep spending and I'm in debt now.

Uglyducklin · 03-09-2016, 06:35 PM

Hugs I'm so sorry Lillie is there a friend who could come and be with you ? If not I know you feel they won't help could you call the crisis team ? Thinking of you

chinahorse · 03-09-2016, 07:14 PM

You can't just call our crisis team you have to be referred.

chinahorse · 03-09-2016, 08:17 PM

I need to take pills but I'm at my mums. I can't cope with the men or the pain.

It's all a bit much and I need help.

Epicene · 03-09-2016, 08:40 PM

Can you talk to your mum?

chinahorse · 03-09-2016, 08:44 PM

They aren't in.

chinahorse · 05-09-2016, 04:52 PM

Its been 2 weeks. The cassel is no further forward. Cpn hasnt a clue what is even going on their end.

Im crumbling. I am literally falling to pieces.

chinahorse · 05-09-2016, 04:58 PM

And now Im going to loose the £400 I dont even remember spending on a flight to the USA. I cant transfer the ticket and I don'y even have anywhere to stay when I get there.

The nearest available appointment at my drs is next week and Im in so much pain. The receptionist was useless and couldnt find out about my MRI.

I cant cope. Every single thing is telling me to take all my pills and get this over with. I have no support. And no one who cares. I feel so ridiculously alone.