Triggering (SI) - why is it just all so crap?

[Cupcake]

seriously why? it seems like its all happening at once. everyone is going downhill. my friends, me. what is wrong? i've just been put on meds. i 've had a few slip ups, i was over a year and a half free, but i feel like cutting more and more.
2 of my friends have revealed the've started cutting, one for the second time, one for the first, as well as one getting worse with her ed and yeah. my sister is being worse, mum and me can't cope. i just dunno. what do i do?

hopefully the meds will work. or at least help. day one today. so no difference. had to force me to go to the docs. mum came with me. couldn't even speak. i keep having hyperventilating periods when i get streessed or panicky. which is crap. and crying. and wanting to die. and yeah.

also uni and college crap. what to do with the rest of my life? i don't know. i don't want to do anything. ever. i'll just g to college when i feel like it,that would be best. for the rest of my life. i so wish i could.

this post makes no sense. sorry if i didn't put the right warnings on it. or posted in the wrong area. i'm just sorry.
for being such a (large) waste of space.

[Neon.]

I'm sorry to hear things are bad at the moment.
It must have been a shock to hear about your friends, but maybe you can all support each other. Would you feel ok talking to them about your problems?
Not many people know what they want to do with their lives when they're in college and uni. What are you studying?
One day on meds isn't much time to see if they work, so I hope they do!
If you need help controlling urges maybe talk to someone, or use the fun and distractions page? or even paint, or make something, or write (something creative).
Don't apologise for posting, it's what this forum is for =)
Take care, and PM if you want to talk x

[Les]

the meds need some time to start helping. im sorry things are so rough. i hope you feel better soon. hugs
les.

[Cupcake]

i know that i have to wait for them to work. if they will.

i can talk to one of them, the other i don't feel i really can atm, buti did chat to the one i can(sorry if i'm confusing) yesterday, but it just makes me feel worse. knowing theres nothing i can do. although it was nice to tell someone about things.

i'm doing art. and ideally i'd want to be doing art in uni, but i dunno if i can cope with uni. mum keeps saying i should stay on at college for another year or 2, but i dunno. plus i dunno what course i'd do if i did. also i wouldn't probably even get into either of the unis i want to go to. my teacher said as much.

as for the urges, i do try and distract myself, and have managed to hold off on most of them.

thank you for all the support though, it really does mean alot, and i think i will try making more things again. i haven't really been doing much atm. just existing! . :)

[Popple]

*huggles tight*
Don't really know what to say but remember when you are falling down anything else that happens seems sooo much worse so just try remember that its not that bad and you can cope with anything its just a bit more difficult when you are already down but anything is possible.

Well done for holding off, yous houls be proud of yourself just for even consideing trying to distract yourself never mind actually going through with these things to help you

And you are NOT in anyway wasting space
because you deserve all the help in the world
I have seen you around and you are such a lovely amazing person

take care sweetie and you know where I am if you ever need anything ok

Katy
xx