I Have an upcoming DBT Assesment

Doikers · 18-08-2016, 10:19 AM

Should I do Tons of Research online?
I don't know what to expect.
Part of it is in a group and that makes me Anxious.
Part is Mindfulness , I truly believe Mindfulness to be useless.
There are going to be 2 people assessing me , I wonder if I can be assessed by only 1.
I'm glad something is happening but it's the worst possible timing as I will have to take NHS transport and if that on top of an impending assessment isn't Diaz worthy I don't know what is.
The letter said to be ready with questions and my mind has gone blank.
The whole thing is on the same site as where I've been inpatient 3 times and that is majorly triggering me , usually I go out of my way to avoid the whole town, It has so many bad memories for me I HATE it with a passion. The thought of actually going onto the hospital grounds is making me nauseous.
I Don't know how much research to do.
The assessment comes at a time when I am House sitting for my Parents too and they and my sisters family will all be in Northern Ireland so I'll have no-one to talk to about it offline.
Why do they feel they need 2 of them , I'm no danger to others , yesterday I met Kirstie the MH advocate on her own.
I Need a Diaz.
Help?

Wonderland. · 18-08-2016, 05:10 PM

I guess questions to ask would be about the sessions. Like what is the structure of them, how many people are in the group, do you have individual sessions, how long does it last for, how much homework will I get, is there any expectations of me, what do I do if I'm struggling whilst at a session, in what way should it help me.. etc etc.

I think to bear in mind you find a lot of things anxiety provoking. I understand doing stuff in a group is hard especially for such people, and you will definitely not be the only one with anxiety about it being a group.

They quite often have two people to assess people for many things so that they get the best picture of how things are for you, rather than just one persons view of things. It may help to say at the beginning that you are very nervous about the whole assessment. I often say it at assessments because I get very anxious about things too and it just helps to express it and get it off my chest, especially when it will probably come up anyway.

I know you have your views on Mindfulness and those can be hard to shake when it hasn't helped before but try and be as open minded as you can about that. I know I used to find it useless but finding the right type of mindfulness activity and practicing it over and over, it then started to become helpful to me, and I now use when distressed. I think it's about finding the right form of it for you and about picking up the skill of focusing enough for it to have positive impact that can be very hard. Like for me, the forms of it that focus on breathing make me panicky so I avoid them. It's trial and error finding what works.

If you are nervous about taking NHS transport would it help to listen to an mp3 whilst travelling? That way there won't be that awkward silence.

It's hard when you have to go into an area you usually avoid because of bad memories. Try and remind yourself though that you would be going in a much more positive way though.

Doikers · 20-08-2016, 10:47 AM

Thank You A M Y .
I don't know how I'm supposed to wait until September the 7th , am Freaking out already . I told my SW but he didn't offer to come with me. I am terrified Of being rejected but I am terrified of being accepted . It's a 6 month long thing and I NEED to get a job next February or at least start applying so I don't even know how that will happen plus My Significant other is coming to visit from the states in January so won't leave her on her own .

Already Trying to Figure out how many Diaz to take for the transport and how many to take for the assessment and how many spares to bring with me.

Fire Fly · 20-08-2016, 05:27 PM

Do you think you rely on Diaz a lot? If you need to take that many Diaz just for an assessment then maybe you need therapy to help you with anxiety first? Just a thought.

Doikers · 20-08-2016, 06:29 PM

I Get Through Diaz for stressful situations , this is a Very Stressful one and I will not be able to even attend without one in me and loads in my pocket. I am Looking into Counselling from MIND but they e-mailed me back asking for my number so I've replied asking them to find another contact option for the counsellor as I cannot answer phone calls when I don't know who is calling . I have to take a Diaz to even make an unfamiliar Phone Call.

Pi.R^2 · 20-08-2016, 10:43 PM

I don't think you'd need to do a whole lot of research- if there's anything in particular you'd like to know, you might as well ask them as they'll be able to answer in relation to that specific group rather than a general answer which is what you'd find online.

With regards to mindfulness, perhaps you could explain to your individual therapist when you get one that you're not confident that mindfulness is right for you, and hopefully they'll be supportive of you questioning it a little bit, whilst still giving it a chance to see if there's parts of it that you would find useful.

I imagine they have two people assessing you just because two heads are better than one! They'll want to be able to make sure they get the complete picture of your difficulties so they can come up with a plan of action that is most suited to you, and having two people means they can work together and combine their experience to come up with that plan.

In terms of how much diazepam to take, I would recommend discussing it with your prescriber to see what they think, though to an extent I guess you could wait and see if you feel you need it, rather than pre-empting it; you may find you cope better than you expect!

With regards to MIND, maybe they could let you know when they plan to call so then you would know who was calling?

Also, do you mean that you don't think you'd be able to go to the group when your significant other comes from the States? Hopefully she wouldn't mind entertaining herself for a little bit whilst you have your appointment.

sherlock holmes · 22-08-2016, 10:19 PM

I think you should mention in the assessment how much diazepam you rely on because some therapists would consider it therapy interfering behaviour to take diazepam before appointments. I'm not saying that is definitely everyone's opinion, they may be totally fine with it, but it may help to talk about it. It concerns me that you need to take that much diazepam for so many situations, at the end of the day it's not really healthy. The anticipation of something is always worse than actually doing it, and the more you do something the less scary it becomes. I went from taking 10mg diazepam just to have my hair cut to not needing it all, so it can be done.

Doikers · 22-08-2016, 10:58 PM

Okay but Without Diazepam I cannot attend . Surely they wouldn't refuse me because of it , I'd have to double up on group sessions .
When I met the MIND group after the MH Advocate I tried so hard so socialise but no one said hey , then they tried to *Be Trees* and then every single one of them went for a fag break and as a non smoker was left sitting alone. I realise through experience that folk with MH issues mostly smoke but to be totally excluded on my 1st visit?

sherlock holmes · 23-08-2016, 04:25 PM

It could be a goal maybe after having gone for a few months? I'm sure it will be fine. If it helps you get there then that's a good thing, was just suggesting that a good ultimate aim may be to reduce the diazepam once you're settled.

Doikers · 23-08-2016, 08:46 PM

Thanks Sherlock , However a lot of the anxiety comes from outside not inside and the Diaz is essential if I wanna do hard things like make a phone call.

Pomegranate · 23-08-2016, 10:56 PM

Do you want things to be different Mark? What specifically would you like to be better/different?

Doikers · 24-08-2016, 10:56 AM

Pomegranate , Hi , Yes I do Want things to be Different , Change Terrifies me though and so do rooms with more than 1 other person in them so groups are so scary to the point I cannot speak through anxiety . Plus I do not see how DBT will change the fact that I need to be living with my Significant other who is 6000 miles away and I could go one about that. Also I KNOW Mindfulness is worthless. I cannot however go on feeling like I'm going to explode much longer. But my Anxiety is so bad I need to self medicate to make a phone call let alone be with people. Sorry if I went off topic.

sherlock holmes · 24-08-2016, 01:16 PM

It's true DBT wont change the fact your partner is 6000 miles away, but what DBT does do is give you tools for managing your emotions and the patterns of behaviour that can arise. It can even help you enormously with your anxiety if you give it a chance.

What mindfulness did you try before? It may be that you haven't found the right technique yet. Some mindfulness makes me MORE anxious (if I try to empty my head of thoughts and just 'be' then I panic) but if instead I use mindfulness to concentrate my thoughts on one thing (like counting slowly, or breathing deeply) then it really helps. It took me a while to get the hang of it and I had to tailor it to my own situation. Don't write it off yet, give it a go.

Wonderland. · 24-08-2016, 02:10 PM

I agree there will be tools/skills you will learn in DBT. And mindfulness that you haven't done before.

I think you need to try and have a more open view towards things. Things aren't going to improve if you don't give thing a chance.

In terms of the fact you keep saying "I need to take diaz to do x" it does sound like you are dependent on it for a lot of things and I would talk to your doctor about this.

Doikers · 24-08-2016, 02:18 PM

I'll try . I Am very freaked out by a group setting still , I have never been a group person , didn't attend a regular school even , there were like 7 pupils in the whole "School" I Know no-one in this town since my Only other Friend Moved away , I Haven't socialised in a group since college and that was 18 years ago and was basically a series of competitions on who could get the most drunk . People Scare Me . I have no visitors to my flat and live alone . 100% of my focus goes into ensurring Felicia and I are online at the same time as much as possible. My Friend , who I am losing touch with Very Sadly , visited me up here once . I used to go to hers and watch films and it would be the 2 of us but one night she bought her colleague and the stress that that caused me made me have a spectacular nose bleed. I am Scared.

Doikers · 24-08-2016, 02:23 PM

Also , Wonderland , Talking to a Psych I trust about Diaz or anything is tough because there is no permanent Psych Here . in the last 8 Psych appointments I have seen 7 Different Locums . Talking about the one coping method I know and trust or any psych problem needs trust and consistency .

Wonderland. · 24-08-2016, 03:50 PM

I do understand your fears.

I used to be house bound because of my anxiety. I know how terribly isolating and debilitating it can be. And people are scary when you've got the social aspect of anxiety in the mix.

But it definitely CAN improve and a lot!

Yes I'm still an anxious person without a doubt, but i'm no longer a prisoner to it. Things that I weren't able to do before without getting distressed like go out my flat or have a conversation on the phone, are things that I can now do so much more at ease and without panic.

Regarding the Diazepam, what about going to see your GP? Not to change it just to see there perspective of how much you take.

I'm only concerned about it as I used to be dependent/addicted to Benzos. And I just wouldn't want to see another person go down that road. I started self medicating on them due to the severity of my anxiety and 1 pill led to more and more. By the way I'm not saying you are addicted by any means! It's just the way you talk about it, is like you have to have it otherwise you can't cope. And that rings alarm bells.

<3

Doikers · 24-08-2016, 07:35 PM

Thank You for your concern , Wonderland , I know I cannot discuss doses and such but I use all I am Given , and I do have a GP appointment soon anyway , that message gives me hope , Thank You :)

HildaOgden · 25-08-2016, 12:05 AM

Hi Mark;
just want to wish you good luck with your DBT assessment.
3 years ago I went to an assessment with the DBT lead and I was so nervous I asked a friend to come with me. (not into the assessment, she travelled with me and sat outside the appointment room). I was so proud of myself when I'd been and done the assessment.

2 years ago I started on the DBT programme. I had to wait a year to get on the programme. I was desperate. My life was so chaotic and depressing that I grabbed the chance of DBT as I had a friend who had done it and completed the program and it literally changed her life.

I really hope that you can overcome your anxiety and grab the DBT opportunity with both hands.

I had my last ever DBT appointment 2 weeks ago. I have come a long way from the anxiety ridden, chaotic person I was when I first embarked on the DBT program.

Mindfulness comes in many guises. I particularly like washing up mindfully. Am not so hot on the meditations. Do what works for you.

Just go with an open mind. Good luck :)

Doikers · 25-08-2016, 09:25 AM

Thank You , Disco, I am happy it worked out for you :)
It is concerning you had to wait for a year from assessment to Start , I had figured it'd be like 2 weeks . . . . I really do need to get a job and simply cannot wait a year .
I'll still go to the assessment though.