I Need life advice.

[Olwe Carnesir]

I have no clue what I am good at or if I am good at
anything. My biggest dream in life is to get married and have two
children a boy and a girl, Live life to the fullest have a two story
house, Sadly I don't have the Courage or social skills required to even
get a date. I am a very Shy I don't really know what to say about Myself
ninety percent of the time unless something is interesting to me I really
don't have much to say. I wish I could figure out what I should do in life.
I don't like school,but I do want a good job however I really can't do
anything to labor intensive because of my Weight and I cant do paperwork
anytime I have to do paperwork I have a Panic attack ranging from mild
to triggering the fight or flight instinct. I wish I could figure out what
I should do with my life. Writing this was one of the hardest thing I have
done in the last 10 years I still can't believe I am finally saying this but
man life is a hard for me and I just wish I could find someone to spend the
rest of my life with soon, so that when my parents die (sigh) I can
at least say they got to see their grand children, however as thing stand I
can't and that bugs me. I am just looking for any advice I can get at this point.
I am not very good at explaining why I think a specific way and i most of the time talk
in circles but I am who i an and that is how i feel about myself.I hope this helps me in
the long run. This is the first time i have opened up this much to anyone, so please be
kind to me I do get hurt rather quickly. My self esteem is somewhat low.

[mat]

Well. You should have an idea what you like or not by now, just on the things you do. Start being active. Walk, bicycle, its summer perfect time to start sweating. A lot of people around here collect rocks. If you like computers theres programming, you don't have too talk to do that. Can express yourself fthat way. Uh. Most people don't talk to anyone unless their intrested or attracted. Can look at someone maybe they wear shoes you like. Small things start conversation. Met girls for all different reasons, I'm on my third baby, and i don't really even like kids. Or people. Gotta put yourself out there, though. If nobody knows you exist how can they find yah. I think im uglier than dog **** and i get told im a beautiful guy. Beauty in the eye of the beholder

[EMH]

hi and welcome
well done for opening up on here, i hope it helped express it to other people.
i think its a very common introvert problem, to like talking about what your interested in but having no idea what to say any other time for 'small talk'. personally i dont understand small talk one bit.
what are you interested in? there are ways to meet people who share your interests, and they would probably be alot easier to get along with and start to get to know. starting off with the things you find interesting is also a good start point at looking what you want to do in life.
i think its a common misconception that most people have their lives sussed. its okay to wander about for a bit and find your place.