Is this inappropriate?

[not_so_insig]

I occasionally get bouts of paranoia and I don't think that my cpn and psych aren't real and if they were that they aren't qualified to treat me. I then check the nurses register and the gmc list of doctors. Both come up with names of people who match the names of my psych/cpn. Both are the only ones in the country with that name.

I have told my cpn in the past about the gmc search on my psych and she said not to worry since I only do this when paranoid. She also said that there's no way it can be traced back to my psych and that I trust him when I am not paranoid. I haven't told my cpn about checking her though.

I respect my cpn and like her (in a professional manner) & I am worried that she may get worried if I tell her that I have searched for her in the nurses register. I am also worried about the fact that I may have overstepped the mark hence my question.

[Rilic]

Does it settle your mind when you find their names there?

I think that list is available for a reason. It's not like you're hunting down their social networking pages or any other personal information. You said it's only when you get paranoid, and you question if they're real, and hence if they're qualified, and I think you're looking in the appropriate place.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Rilic.

Yes it does settle my mind. My psych is foreign and he has a very unusual surname for this country (it wouldn't be in his native country) so much so that I can't pronounce it! He understands that it's a mouthful that he allows everyone to call him by his first name which is slightly easier to pronounce! So if he was faking it there is a genuine doctor with his name!

With my cpn it comes up with the area that they are based (it says North Wales which is where I live). So again unless she's impersonating a genuine nurse (which at the moment I think it's unlikely) it's probably is her.

Should I tell my cpn that I searched for her on the nurses register? It's just that I feel guilty for doing it and also I am always honest with her (even if I end up with hospital). Do you think that by me telling her she will transfer me to another cc?

[Cacoethes]

I don't think it's inappropriate. It's not like you're searching them on Facebook or anything personal.
I've searched for my care team on the gmc website for similar reasons. I was told (I can't remember who, a professional though) that it's good to check people out on the gmc if you feel at all unsure.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Carmen and Beckie. I know that it is pointless trying to add my psych and cpn on Facebook because it's inappropriate for them to be Facebook friends whilst I am under their care. Similarly I have never tried to contact them via Facebook because I appreciate that they need a private life outside work. Besides they might not see it (I don't check for Facebook messages that are from people who aren't friends) & if it's urgent and out of hours a&e is more appropriate. So I don't think that I have crossed a line but I was unsure hence why I posted. Also a couple of years ago I shoved my psych ' s name into Google and it came up with his work email address which I have never emailed. Similarly I could guess my cpn's email address (again I have never emailed).

Besides if I thought I was having inappropriate thoughts I would ask for another cpn.

[not_so_insig]

My cpn is coming next week. Should I tell her that I searched for her on the nurses register? I feel really bad that I have done so.

[not_so_insig]

I am hoping that I will feel better and less guilty Carmen.