Care coordinator took me off her caseload because I asked for her number

rmn2016 · 17-07-2016, 09:12 PM

Hi all,
Well my care coordinator took me off her caseload and changed me to someone else, to an occupational therapist. She said the OT could better support me in the activities I could do and how I could spend my time. She also said she needed to manage her caseload and has had to let some clients go. But it comes after I asked for her private number...I have said many times to her I don't want to change care coordinator. She has changed me now, what can I do to get her back besides complain? Thanks for your help in advance

whirlpools · 17-07-2016, 09:44 PM

I'm wondering why you asked for her private number?

I'm just asking because it might help me understand better.

not_so_insig · 17-07-2016, 10:06 PM

I don't think care coordinators give out their private numbers in general - I have been in mh services for over 10 years and I have always been given the office number. Whenever I have wanted to speak to my cc I have always had to go through the receptionist.

Same with email addresses - I have never had them.

rmn2016 · 17-07-2016, 10:09 PM

Well she asked me why do you want my number? And I said because I think you're very beautiful and want to talk to you, but truthfully I wanted her number because I wanted to meet her outside work, to see her...

talaiporia · 17-07-2016, 10:19 PM

It sounds like you wanted a personal relationship with her and unfortunately, professionals can't do that. it might also have made her uncomfortable if she was trying to be professional.

rmn2016 · 17-07-2016, 10:30 PM

What can I do to get her back as my care coordinator ?

Unbreakable. · 17-07-2016, 10:34 PM

There's nothing you can do to get her back.
You need to accept it and move on.

rmn2016 · 17-07-2016, 10:41 PM

Why can't I get her back?

whirlpools · 17-07-2016, 11:28 PM

It sounds like aspects of your treatment with her have become unhelpful for you and your care coordinator, as you sound to have become too dependent on her. She is doing the professional thing which is to hand over your treatment to another member of the team.

I know this must feel difficult and hurtful but it is likely to be more helpful to you getting better.

rmn2016 · 17-07-2016, 11:38 PM

Why does it sound like I've become too dependent on her?

whirlpools · 17-07-2016, 11:42 PM

It is inappropriate to ask her for her personal number so you could see her and meet her outside of work. This is inappropriate as she is there to coordiate your care and not be your friend. She needs to be able to have her own private life outside of work.

rmn2016 · 18-07-2016, 12:16 AM

I know I have done wrong and shouldn't have asked for her number but I really want her back as my care coordinator ....

not_so_insig · 18-07-2016, 12:19 AM

It's totally inappropriate to have a relationship other than a purely professional one. Same if you both have social media accounts - you can't be Facebook friends (or similar). If she is found to have acted unprofessionally by having a relationship outside work she could be struck off and lose her job - do you want that to happen?

I agree with the others - she did the right thing.

whirlpools · 18-07-2016, 12:21 AM

It's not to punish you, it's to help you get better and form a life of your own, even though I'm sure it does feel painful and upsetting.

Would you be willing to try things with a new care coordinator like your old one suggested?

not_so_insig · 18-07-2016, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rmn2016

I know I have done wrong and shouldn't have asked for her number but I really want her back as my care coordinator ....

Have you read the previous replies? like Princess Monaco of Kent said there's nothing you can do.

Concentrate on building a good professional relationship with your new cc.

rmn2016 · 18-07-2016, 12:48 AM

My nurse from 5 years ago was ok when I said I liked her, I even said I would wait outside for her and she said if I did that she would report it to the manager and say she got a stalker but she said I had principles and she was right so I didn't wait for her outside the office. I just don't understand why one nurse would be accepting of the fact I liked her and one would change me to another therapist....

not_so_insig · 18-07-2016, 01:08 AM

It sounds like your previous cc may have found the tone inappropriate. It may have been overtly sexual. Clearly she found herself uncomfortable in your presence - hence why she is no longer your cc.

If you do find yourself wanting a relationship (other than a professional) in the future it's best to keep it to yourself.

rmn2016 · 18-07-2016, 01:21 AM

Why do you think it was overtly sexual?

not_so_insig · 18-07-2016, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rmn2016

Why do you think it was overtly sexual?

Note I said may. You said that you found her beautiful, which, without knowing what exactly you said, she may have taken that you have found her attractive. Which is overtly sexual.

rmn2016 · 18-07-2016, 01:31 AM

No I never said I liked her, that is my previous care coordinator. I liked the nurse I had 5 years ago but the previous care coordinator I never said I liked her , only said she was beautiful...in response to why do you want my number