I've been really REALLY anxious a whole lot these past few weeks and the symptoms I experience brought along by my anxiety have gotten much more intense. For instance, stomach upset in particular has been really bothering me as it becomes so bad to the point I can't even do anything but curl myself up into a ball and clutch my stomach. As expected my heartbeat goes insane together with other symptoms of anxiety. It has really started to affect my performance in school drastically, especially for oral components (one-on-one with a teacher) ; It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I CAN'T get myself to say whatever I have to because I just end up having my mind go blank and then I forget whatever I had in mind. Subsequently I've failed these oral components really REALLY badly. Classroom participation is a struggle every single day for every single class, even though it's not as bad in the classes where I feel that the teacher actually acknowledges my social anxiety (they don't know about it but I have a hunch that some suspect it) and the teacher only calls upon me when the answer to the question is a short one and not those kinds that require lengthy explanations. I feel like anxiety has become my whole identity as a person, in a way that all people see in me is that I'm anxious a whole lot and I'm not capable of doing anything else besides panic. My drastically declining grades in school also have been making me feel that all my teachers have lost all hope they ever had in me and no longer believe in me anymore. It's been driving me absolutely insane because that feeling of having nobody believe in you... I feel hopeless
