I saw a locum GP today to get some more painkillers as I self-harmed a couple of weeks ago and need them before dressing changes and when I am on my feet all day at work.
He asked what had happened and I told him. When I mentioned maybe needing the painkillers at work, he asked what I did. I told him I was a dispenser in a pharmacy at the hospital. He said "does work know about all of the medication you are on?" He said it in quite an accusatory manner.
It's really upset me. Does he mean that I shouldn't be around medication because I take medication? Does he think that I'm too mad to do a responsible job? What does he think? Am I too mad to do my job? Does being on the medications that I'm on make me a risk at work?
He asked if I was a suicide risk, which is fair enough given what I've done. He said he would give me a small amount of medication just in case. Then he started talking about getting daily medication. I get a months worth at a time of my regular medication and have NEVER taken more than prescribed. Not once.
My psychiatrist and care co-ordinator know what I do for a living. Wouldn't they have said something if they didn't think I was fit for purpose? I'm sure my manager would refer me to occupational health if she had any issues, and she has never done that. Work know everything pretty much.
I just feel all... Horrible. I'm not on a lot of medication compared to some people. I take three for mental health, one for side effects and two PRN for sleep and anxiety. I'd like to just go **** it and not take any, but that never ends well.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
He sounds so insensitive, and maybe not the most experienced of dealing with actual people with mental illness. I may be doing him a disservice but it sounds like how a text book would respond to someone with mental illness.
I would completely trust all of the people that have spoken to you for longer than a few minutes rather than this doctor.
Please don't compare yourself to anyone else. You take what you need to be awesome it doesn't matter if that takes 1 medication or 30. How would you reassure your patients if they had had a similar experience?
He shouldn't have said that at all. If there were any concerns, your manager at work would risk assess and/or your mental health team would discuss things with you. Doesn't sound like this GP knows you, and even though it's easier said than done I'd try and take his comment with a pinch of salt. It sounds like you do an amazing job at work and are clearly and justifiably held with trust and high esteem by your manager.
Hi lovely. I'm so sorry you had this experience. I completely agree that he shouldn't have said that. He sounds like he maybe isn't the best GP to be dealing with mental health stuff, and it's such a shame that you ended up seeing him today.
You are awesome, and you are good at your job, and it doesn't matter what he thinks. Everyone who knows you has complete faith in your ability to do your job. With the not wanting to give you a lot of medication at a time, I understand how frustrating that is. I think it's kind of just a blanket response a lot of doctors will have with someone who self harms / has self harmed, especially if they don't know them. It sucks, but it's really nothing to do with you.
Look after yourself, and remember how wonderful you are <3
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
He was a locum so he didn't know me very well, bar the stuff in my notes which he'd probably had a quick scan over. I'd not want to see him again.
I've had patients being a bit upset because they're on a lot of medications. I tell them that I know it's a pain, but if it's keeping them well then it's worth it. I've seen patients on a LOT of medication.
I phoned my manager today because I got in a flap about not being capable or a liability or something. She was so good about it. She said she knows what medication I'm on and that it doesn't concern her. She said she would definitely tell me if she had any concerns about my fitness to work and I believe her because if I mess up, she's still responsible for it. She said that I probably know more about drugs than he does! She says that because I'm honest when I'm struggling, it allows her to put me on admin duties for a few hours until I have calmed down and can focus again, so she wouldn't ever make me dispense if I didn't have the concentration for it.
I was really worried that she would think the same as the GP and that I should stop working there because I might break someone. It was making me really anxious and I was wondering whether she would prefer it if I left, but after she said that, it's reassured me and I feel like I can go into work in the morning and not fret about whether I should be there or not.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I'm so glad you're feeling more reassured now, just wanted to say that just because they've been through medical school, it doesn't mean they have any people skills!
Sending love sweetie x
Male GPs can be so insensitive. I'm a man and I much prefer to see female GPs as all male ones make me feel like I'm an attention-seeking, time-wasting faker whenever I see them about mental health issues. Sorry he spoke to you like that. You're within your rights to complain - maybe get help from Citizens Advice to complain if you don't feel comfortable doing so alone?
