BPD going out of control again

[Ghost-With-Scars]

Hi,
I feel like my Borderline Personality Disorder is getting out of control again. I have been in and out of hospital for the past year with self harming and overdosing. The voices that I hear are getting worse again, they tell me to kill myself and just generally say horrible things about me. I took another OD recently but didn't go to hospital because I was afraid they would send me back into the psych ward again. I hate that doctors don't listen when you tell them you have BPD. They suddenly don't care then.

[Ballerina123]

Sorry things have been so bad for you.

Do you have a gp or cousellor/therapist you could talk these feeling through with?

Hope you manage to stay safe xx

[Ghost-With-Scars]

Hi,
No I don't have a counsellor at the moment. I don't even have a CPN because I have just moved so all the mental health services haven't been dealt with yet. I am supposed to be seeing the crisis team but they are rubbish here. I took another OD yesterday and they just sent me home again.
Hope you are okay xx

[Wonderland.]

We are here if you want to talk about what the reasons behind why you are feeling the need to overdose.

Do you know in your mind what you want from the crisis team?

Another source of support could be from your GP, this may be really worth thinking about.

[~SuNsHiNe~]

As Wonderland said, it can actually be really helpful to speak to your GP so that might be worth thinking about. Please take care and remember that we are all here for you

[Ghost-With-Scars]

Thank you both :)
I just want the crisis team to actually listen to me. It is like they don't believe a word I say. They basically told me i could go ahead and take the overdose, so I did a few times.

[Ballerina123]

What did they say that makes you think that?

Hope you're OK. Did you get medical attention?

[Ghost-With-Scars]

Yeah they forced me to get medical attention in the end but I didn't want to go. They just basically said to me that it is my choice if I want to overdose and that there was nothing they could do xx

[Serendipity.]

Do you know what they could have done that would have been more helpful? (e.g. talking things through with you / discussing other things you could do instead, etc?) It sounds really frustrating and I wonder if it would be worth discussing with them (when you're not really distressed) how they can best support you. It's tricky when you've just moved and you don't have regular support in place; do you know roughly how long that will take?

I don't know how helpful you find it, but if calling crisis isn't useful, you could try the Samaritans or another helpline. It might be worth making a list of people you can contact before you do anything to harm yourself.

Is there anything you can do that you've found helpful in the past?

[Ghost-With-Scars]

Hi,
It would have been helpful if they had listened to me and tried to understand what I am going through. But I am just not sure how best that they can support me. I feel like a lost cause.
I speak to Samaritans and they are quite helpful and I find music helpful and watching things that make me laugh.