problems with self image

[airwolf282]

Hi all,

I have struggled with self image/self esteem for many years. I feel unworthy and unappealing. I have a wonderful wife who is very supportive but I am always questioning her motive for being with me. I always had trouble holding down relationships, in fact nobody ever dated me til I was 20. I have been told I possibly have Avoidant Personality Disorder but I'm not sure. I have always felt physically unattractive. I have been cheated on several times in past relationships and have always blamed my below average looks because they always went after someone better. I'm only 5'8 and about 170lb. I have a bit of flab around have no muscle at all. I'm terribly ashamed of my body and the scars on me. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, it can't be right for a man to have self image and body image problems can it?



Blueman

[archer one]

Problems with self image/self esteem are not just for women, plenty of men have them too so you are not alone. When we feel low its very easy for us to question peoples motives for them to be with us. I'm sure it was not your fault people have cheated on you in the past, by the fact you said, you have a lovely supportive wife. She cares about you enough to want to spend her life with you.

All kinds of people are ashamed of their bodies and usually there is nothing wrong. Its perfectly natural to be ashamed of the scars, but try to think of them as your history. You have a future and it can be better.

[?BROKEN_ANGEL?]

first of all, men can have self image problems, just like they can have the same thoughts as women.

secondly, you're wife is with you because she loves you, trusts you, and respects you, all for who you are.

you must have a good personallity and even though you think your body is horrible nobody's body is perfect.

im quite overweight but i know that i'd rather look like i do than look like a skinny person, becuse i wouldnt be me if i was skinny.

talk to you're wife, tell her how you feel

she loves you, and will understand

if you need to talk pm me

Elle

[The Hierophant]

Don't feel bad just because your not comfortable in your body.
Alot of men/boys i know arn't happy with their bodies and self image.

I think you and your wife should sit and have a chat and maybe she can help diminish your fears and worry.
She loves you or else why else would she have married you?
Not everyone is completely happy with themselves.
But try and focus on the good rather than the bad.

[raistlin]

As mentioned above, everyone has a bit of a problem with self image in their lives. You're not alone in that. I don't have too much more to add. But letting you know I read.

[Mirabelle]

Everyone is unhappy with the way they look and I'm pretty sure there's more to you than just your image. Besides, your wife loves you for more than how you look and I'm sure she doesn't perceive you physically the same way that you do.

However, if you really feel your self-image impacts on your moods, I'd advise to simply.... change it. I know, easy to say, eh?
but by doing sports, maybe changing your clothing style a bit (no need to be drastic) and such little details, you might just feel better.
But remember there are things you'll never be able to change... and that you'd better start living with them because there's absolutely no point ruining your life over that.

Good luck!

[random.swirls]

Your wife is with you for a reason and thats because she loves you for who you are. I know that I wouldnt care if my man had a tummy or a 6 pack so long as I loved him I would be happy.

I think a lot of people are not happy with their body not many of us are blessed with a celebrities physique but eating healthy and taking exercise can make you feel better and it could be a fun to go on the occasional walk or go dancing with your wife? Having a hobby that you do together and enjoy may make you closer and get rid of some of those niggling doubts that you have at the moment.

Huggles

xoxox