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Old 07-11-2015, 08:18 PM   #1
Detached Noodle
yepp, I'm still here
 
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Why is everyone leaving me?

I've been super quiet since I was born and I've had Social Anxiety for a long time. I thought as time went by, it would get better, but it's only gotten worse to the point where I haven't made a new friend or even had a conversation with anyone outside my friendzone for a good 3 years (I am 15). I don't think not having made new friends is a bad thing when you've already got friends, but I'm not so sure about it when I see the friends I do have.

Most of them I've been best friends with at least once, and now they have new best friends and I'm just the person they used to hang out with. 2 of my friends have been with me since I was really young and we've been great friends but recently they've stopped talking to me and came off as super flakey. One of them will say I'm their best friend because they think I will be sad if they say otherwise, and literally two minutes later she's talking to her other two friends, saying how she's inviting them out somewhere RIGHT INFRONT OF ME. She's even lied about having parties to me, and then post pictures of them on instagram. The other one has became popular and suddenly has no time to hang out with me.

I know they don't want to be with me but I just don't know why. I've been really good friends with most people, they stay with me for ages and they really like me and then one day they're gone with someone else. I'm not reliant on them, I just don't want to be left alone again. After my best friend, died a couple of years ago, I've had depression and my social anxiety has gotten worse. I can't go on not being able to talk to anyone, it's so lonely. Everyone in my school thinks of me as rude, weird or creepy because I never talk so no one ever comes near me. I just want to know what I've done to deserve all these people using me this way, I was a really good friend to each of them and never did anything to hurt anyone.

Sorry this was really lengthy, by the way... I just don't want everyone to abandon me.

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Old 07-11-2015, 09:45 PM   #2
Rilic
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I wish I could think of better things to say sometimes, but _you_ haven't done anything wrong in all this. I struggled to make friends in school because i was quiet and weird and the "freak" everyone avoided, and any i did make i started losing towards the end, and after, they would stop inviting me to things, wouldn't tell me when they were around during uni breaks, and eventually they have their lives that are completely separate, and i can't really tell them anything that's going on in mine. i've gone through months without speaking to anyone, but i don't think i did anything to deserve it. So you haven't done anything wrong, people can just be fickle and lack understanding and compassion, especially during those teen years.
but when you do meet someone who is loyal to you as a friend, no matter what, i don't think there are many people like that, and it can take a long time, but they're around, and they don't leave. and even then, you meet better people when everyone's grown up and matured enough to understand things better.

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Old 08-11-2015, 09:40 PM   #3
XxDarkenedHeartXx
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Sometimes things like that just happen - that's when you know if your friends are your real friends.
I know it isn't very helpful but I think it's part of our lives - we get older and we make new friends, friends that stay.

None of it is your fault, I hope you understand that.



---------------
I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you


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Old 09-11-2015, 03:07 AM   #4
stumpy
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I'm ever so much the loner who never makes friends, not because I don't want to, but because my attitude towards friendship is different to most people my own age, I have lots of friends who are much older than me, who have different health problems, mostly mental health but from different backgrounds, considering I'm female and most of my friends are much older men, and not female.

I've had the belief for many years now that most females of my own age are very immature, and like to follow each other like sheep, they love to watch movies, go clothes shopping, or go out on the town drinking on girls nights out, and have a lack of understanding or tolerance of any form of illness that makes you even remotely different.

Like you I have experienced people leaving me on my own, but mostly find much older men more loyal and less demanding than most friends, I do have some female friends, but I am very selective, most are the older female that have a mothering nature, there are a very select few around my own age, and although they are very good, supportive friends, I don't see them that often, but that doesn't matter as they are busy getting on with their lives, so when I do see them it's quality friendship time together

I've also had the lying friends, who believe me are not really friends, but when you leave school you will make some real friends who will be there no matter what, you'll also likely have some old school friends who although stay in touch you won't see a lot, that's pretty normal, you need to make friends and be around people who make you feel positive, and until then I'd suggest you just concentrate on yourself and what matters to you, don't waste time like I did trying to concentrate on others, and what they think of you, I did this for far too long, leaving myself feeling unhappy for far longer than I should have been.

*hugs* hope you manage to find some real good true friends that help you feel good about yourself





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