letting go of negative thoughts

[not_so_insig]

Someone today said some very rude things to me before and I can't let it go. I am worried that I will get into trouble with the police. The voices are saying that I was right.

Does anyone obsess about things that are said by others? How do I let it go? I darent tell anyone irl because I am scared that I get told that I am in the wrong.

[Sketchy]

I over think things so I do understand how distressing it is. Is there someone you trust who you could speak to about it? It's hard to say without knowing the details, but what makes you think you are in trouble?

[not_so_insig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sketchy

I over think things so I do understand how distressing it is. Is there someone you trust who you could speak to about it? It's hard to say without knowing the details, but what makes you think you are in trouble?

I have only my cpn to talk to.

Basically I caught the bus and two women pushed in front of me. Then this woman decided to let this elderly woman go in front of her. She had a go at me for boarding the bus when I literally can't stand on a bus because I have panic attacks. I knew people would offer a seat to the elderly person whereas because I don't look disabled people don't think to offer me a seat. I said simply that I was here first to which this woman yelled "you're supposed to respect the elderly" to which I yelled back "you're supposed to respect the disabled".

Then nothing happened until I get to my stop. The elderly person got off at the same stop. I got off first because the elderly person walks dead slow. I can't be behind slow people because it causes immense back and knee pain. The same woman yelled to me in the bus stop that "I have no manners". I ignored her.

Now I was diagnosed with aspergers in 2004. I don't see what I did wrong as people don't see me as disabled. I think she was annoyed because I pushed in but I have every right to sit down in order to prevent panic attacks and people not to push in. I wish my disabilities were visible. I think that I am going to get in trouble because of this.

[mikey]

Oh gosh that sounds awful. I don't think you were wrong and the point about mental illness being an invisible disability is all too true and people don't realise.
I don't think you will be in trouble because of this. Worst case scenario the woman on the bus thinks you're rude - well, so what! You don't know each other and her opinion is factually incorrect and irrelevant.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks mikey. It's such a relief to know that I won't get into trouble. I just got confused because I can't see what I did wrong. I have had the elderly person sit by me before and she's never accused me of being rude. The elderly person said nothing so if she was bothered she would say something, wouldn't she?

[Sketchy]

You are not in trouble. That was just one persons opinion. She didn't understand why you had to board the bus and sit down, but that is her problem. Some people just go looking for arguments. Don't let her worry you. Yes, we should look out for elderly people and I strongly believe in giving up seats for those who need it, but that includes people who need them due to disabilities and some disabilities are invisible.
I hope you can put this behind you.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lorraine. I am less bothered about it now than when it was said originally. That's why I hate travelling by bus sometimes as people have had a go at me for sitting in the priority seats. I can't always manage stairs due to a combination of knee pain & muscle stiffness (I live in a ground floor flat) so people don't think that I am disabled because I don't have a stick just see me as a rude young person. My friend lets me moan to her which is good & is sympathetic. I have learnt to stick up for myself hence the comments about respecting the disabled. Besides the disabled bays are taken up by buggies around here and nobody has a go at them. Twice I have seen a person in a wheelchair being forced to wait for the next bus because some mum refuses to fold her buggy. Nobody had a go then.

[Snow White.]

That sounds so frustrating and I wish rude people like that would keep to them self. I over think when things like that happen to me too. Sounds like your thinking about it has got less since you wrote about it and got it off your chest so that's great to hear and a good strategy :)

And I also agree you won't get in trouble.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Aimee. I guess that some people just don't get hidden disabilities. It did help getting it off my chest.

[stumpy]

I used to have this happen all too often, making bus trips really anxiety provoking for me, I tend to always have someone with me now, who can explain my needs and who can explain my anxiety, when I have to take a bus ride, I also bought and wear Ear Defenders, as this prevents rude people like this old person from attempting to speak to me :)

[not_so_insig]

Thanks stumpy (sorry I don't know your name). I sometimes wear headphones including my noise cancelling headphones. They help out when people say negative comments, usually from people who think I should offer my seat (like I said I get panic attacks each time I stand). There are plenty of non disabled people who are perfectly capable of offering a seat. I feel like wearing a badge which says "I have a hidden disability please be patient" only I don't know where to get one from *pootles off to eBay to see if they have some*.

[mikey]

That's a great idea. If you can't find one, could you make your own? There are plenty of instruction tutorial thingies out there which could walk you through it and then you could write what you want ;)

[not_so_insig]

I found a badge which says "not every disabled person uses a wheelchair some disabilities are invisible please do not judge" (I would link but I'm on my phone) which I might get. Otherwise thanks for the suggestion mikey.

[Arienette]

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread. Short on time. But have you tried mindfulness in letting it go?

Xx

[stumpy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by not_so_insig

I found a badge which says "not every disabled person uses a wheelchair some disabilities are invisible please do not judge" (I would link but I'm on my phone) which I might get. Otherwise thanks for the suggestion mikey.

I have found these, http://www.autismawarenessuk.com/aca...Keyrings_.html

[not_so_insig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

What about writing a complaint to the bus company? Especially if you've had issues with getting seats before. Perhaps there is something they can do on their end to ensure people are following policy and being respectful, whether the disability is clearly visible or not. I do not know the law there, but it's my understanding that is essentially a form of discrimination if they are not allowing people to have seats that they are entitled to.

I doubt very much that they'll do anything. The bus frequently doesn't turn up and I have written to complain about that to no avail. In the UK people don't have to move for a wheelchair (there was a high profile case where a disabled person took a bus company to court ) so if they can't do anything for a visible disability I doubt that they can do anything for an invisible disability. The trouble is that they're a big bus company (arriva) so they are not interested in the little man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arienette

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread. Short on time. But have you tried mindfulness in letting it go?

Xx

I have not been taught mindfulness.

Stumpy thanks for that. But I see my panic attacks/physical incapability more of a problem than my aspergers. I only mentioned it in case I was wrong because I occasionally get social situations wrong and like I said I get confused. But on the other hand I am not so good at queues. That's why I would prefer to get a invisible disability one as I do things as a consequence of my voices giving me a hard time rather than a asd.