Schizophrenia???

[Arienette]

When I saw my gp my notes she had called me in about said I had been assessed and diagnosed schizophrenia but I have mood issues.

I dnot know what to make of this. I am in shock and uncomfortable and uncertain about it.

Like what?!?!?

Where'd that come from?

How do you deal with finding out info like this?

I hope they don't make me move team because I've been working well and hard with my new team.

Just what?!?!?

Xx

[not_so_insig]

Like you I had a shock when I first found out. But remember it's just a label based on your symptoms. Perhaps if you ask your team on how they came to that conclusion? My cpn brought me some leaflets and reading them really helped come to terms since they were not going to change my meds. Also buying a book also helped because everything made sense.

[Arienette]

Yeah you're right it's just a label and technically changes nothing

But I'm still shocked and upset. I don't want to tell anyone. I want it to be a secret even though I can talk about experiences with certain close friends

I don't want to tell my gf

For some reasons I feel confused and ashamed

I'm being referred for DBT group to help manage skills to help with voices- will that help.

And also to help manage my mood swings bc I go quite high and very low.

I thought bipolar made sense but this,

And tonight I feel scared. My gf is here but in the other room. We're having alone time bc I wanted to be on my own a little bit

I needed to play with annabelle and now I'm hearing voices to stab her. What the fuq? Is that about.

I'm so upset but I can't cry. I've been paging but bc I can only pave the kitchen I'm getting dizzy. Normally I pace the whole flat but I was making my gf uncomfortable.

I've been hitting on my head the wall bc I need it to stop telling me to be a murderer and stab annabelle.

I want to cry but I can't.

I want to OD just to make it stop.

I might have to talk to my gf seeing as she's here.

Tonight is hard. Every day there is something hard.

These past few months have been hell.

[MunchBox]

Like you I was shocked when I found out my diagnosis.
But after my cc gave me some leaflets I understood why I was given it. I could relate.


Did you manage to talk to your girlfriend?

[Arienette]

I think I mentioned it but sometimes she doesn't like talking about mental health because she works in it and I think she struggles to see me struggling and sometimes talking about it.

I spoke to my mh nurse friend and she was shocked too and thinks I'm too engaged to with people to have schizophrenia. I'll see. I might ask to see notes or ask about diagnosis in the long term but now I don't think I can hear it to be honest.

I could understand schizoaffective but not schizophrenia.

I'm just shocked that that is on my notes to be honest.

It scares me. What has been happening to me scares me and it scares me that people think what I think and feel is real isn't. It's a constant message I'm getting and that scares me. Xx

[Aubergine]

The notes on your GP's records could be incorrect.


My GP has on my notes that I have "schizophrenia and major depressive disorder" but my actual diagnosis on my MH notes is schizoaffective disorder, depressive type. I don't know why they're different.

[Morpheus]

I felt ashamed too when i was told they suspected it. My mother had to guess before i would tell.

Now i have come to terms with my diagnosis after having psych education in it and i understand why the diagnosis was given to me. It also meant getting the right help finally and that i could understand what i went through better, which has resulted in much more improvement in my mental health and a better snd happier life.

So even though it is scary to find out and even though for me, it felt like a death sentence, it really did make recovery more likely as i was given the right help and support. I would suggest asking the doctor who diagnosed you why they feel it fits. Maybe you will be able to accept it better then.

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aubergine

The notes on your GP's records could be incorrect.


My GP has on my notes that I have "schizophrenia and major depressive disorder" but my actual diagnosis on my MH notes is schizoaffective disorder, depressive type. I don't know why they're different.

Ive had this before.

its always worth asking the mental health team because it would have been a junior dr who wrote that letter and they don't always get things right.

however if it is right what is it that scares you about it? why is schizophrenia more scary than bipolar for example? do you think one is worse?

[Arienette]

I'm only writing a short reply bc I'm in a&we bc I fell off my bike

But that seems worse for me because I always suspected bipolar because it runs in the family. It was one shock when I spoke to my aunt who has bipolar and found our experiences are very different

Another to see a note like that on my record and a note like psychosis

For me psychosis Makes no sense. Still.

[Ballerina123]

Psychosis doesn't mean they don't believe that you believe your experiences are real. in fact quite the opposite. it just means they don't believe it and therefore "find it strange" <--- sorry couldn't think if a better way of putting it.

you made a post in the psychosis thread. why did you do that if you don't suspect on one level that your thought could be psychotic?

In my opinion, and this is only mine, psychosis, or what is pecieved by the MH teams as psychosis is sometimes real but because the mental health team are in disagreement about your beliefs they call it psychosis.


have you found meds to be helpful with the voices or thoughts they say are psychotic?
have you ever found meds helpful?
I only ask because that could help you think about what could be psychotic and what might not. i.e. if anti psychotic get rid of some of the thoughts and voices would it not be reasonable to assume its psychosis or something similar?

but I do think it would be good to talk to your team about it because if you feel your mood symptoms are significant then you need that to be considered in your care too.

hope youre ok after falling of your bike.

[Arienette]

I posted there because I wasn't sure if my thinking was straight about the superhero thing. I suspected that could be a strange thought and have been told. I wasn't sure. But I'm not psychotic to the point of schizophrenia if I do have symptoms they could be something or something else.

I just don't understand how I could be schizophrenic. That's the main issue. Like I understand I was possibly along lines of psychosis when I was invincible (or thought I was) but that was once and the super hero thing linked with that.

I don't like the labels. I will sometime talk to my team about what happening with all that but not now. I don't want to move team because they are MAP and I don't want them to change my team especially.

My meds have helped with voices and I am functioning better whereas I was struggling to talk or put a sentence together before hand. So they are helping but anti psychotics are used for a number of things off label, like mood. And my mood has stabilised now to a normal range.

I still thik annabelle is a massive misunderstanding. They're just not being open minded enough in my opinion. And instead of listening and helping me save her properly they just label me psychotic and leave it at that and throw meds my way. Which is upsetting.

I can understand feeling superhero could be a not normal thought but that's it. If it's the same thought how could it be osychosis.

I'm ok from my bike fall. It was my own fault for having a glass of wine and cycling fast in the dark. I wasn't drunk but my judgement was probably impaired. Luckily I wear a helmet and that literally saved my head because it's totally fractured. Lesson learnt. I'm just in pain and tingling but nothing serious. Luckily it was me vs the curb and no other vehicle was behind me.

Gutted though because now I need to pay to get it serviced. Anyway off topic. I'm ok thanks. It was a bit nasty but I was lucky.


Also for my Gps notes being incorrect I saw it on my sheet when I was in A&E last night as it said my most recent history of a&30e visits. It said diagnosis:schizophrenia.

Although he was in one consultation, I guess my team will help with getting it right.
Xx