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Old 23-09-2015, 12:00 AM   #1
Sesoe
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Incredibly indecisive; starting to affect my life a lot

Hey there RYL!

Hope it's okay to post issues like this, this isn't exactly major or time-sensitive, but I didn't really know where else to post it.

Anyways, I've been struggling with an issue for quite awhile now, easily for half of my life (Currently in second year of college.)

My issue is that I am incredibly indecisive, can't seem to stick to anything and seem to almost lack an identity/defined goals in life.

For example, I like playing games as my hobby, but I can pretty much never stick to one. I always play tons. I like music, but I pretty much listen to everything. I have a variety of hobbies from watching tv shows, to listening music to programming and gaming, but I can't bring myself to sticking to any one thing for a long period of time.

I always seem to either get distracted or just bored of that "thing" for awhile.

Luckily, this issue never creeps into work and my love life. Ive held onto my current partner for over two and a half years, which seems to stick alright. I also find my work continuously challenging and fun, so I have no issue sticking with it.

However, school and hobbies are a humongous area of my life where my indecisiveness/inability to stick to things are hurt. I love networking and find it fascinating (my area of study), and I'll frequently do networking stuff outside of school and enjoy it. However, in class, no matter how hard I try I simply can't pay any attention. My attention lapses pretty much instantly when I step into class, even if I really want to pay attention. I can't seem to stick to it unless it's one of those "Im feeling really networky" days. Obviously, this hurts my studies hard.

Hobbies are also really floaty for me. Some days Ill play some games, other days Ill program, other days Ill write, etc. etc., but I always am "looking for something else", and this prevents me from really achieving anything great in those extra curricular activities. I have tons of friends who are like expert guitar players who've put 7 years into it and are amazing guitarists while I'm only okay since I've only put a year into it. Some of my friends are published novelists while writing is just something I kinda do sometimes. Some of my friends go to the gym lots and have been for years and are mega in fit while I'm just "ok."

Anyways, this is starting to get kind of long. I really wish I could just learn to stick to things, be more decisive and put more focus into things. I feel unaccomplished and want to be able to stick to something to get more accomplished and get more out of life. Heck, even if all I can achieve is being able to be slightly more decisive to make it so I can go to restaurants and not take forever to decide on what to eat, I'd be happy

Anyone have any idea how I could improve in this way? :)

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Old 23-09-2015, 01:06 PM   #2
Sesoe
 
Join Date: Sep 2015

Quote:
Originally Posted by Epic View Post
Struggle to make decisions also, so can somewhat relate. With you it sounds like a mixture of boredom and distractibility. For me it is some weird fear of getting "stuck" in/on something. For others, it is a perfectionist thing - "what if I order food and don't enjoy it?" "what if this course isn't ideal for me?" - even if that is on a subconscious level.

For distractibility, it may be a matter of allowing distractions which relate to what you are doing, or inform it, but setting boundaries with yourself.

For boredom, extending your reach within a given task may help.

For fear of getting stuck, umm, have yet to crack that one.

For perfectionism, it probably comes down to allowing yourself to live and experience the bad as well as the good, and to make mistakes, in order to hone your whole self.

I realise my response may seem trite, and I have no practical suggestions, but wanted to reply anyhow.

X
Boredom and distractibility definitely sound applicable to me!

Thanks for your advice, though I'm not quite sure how I would implement setting boundaries for myself :( Sounds like I may get so distracted I forget about my boundaries.

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