I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I feel your pain, I too suffer from the kind of crippling anxiety you're describing.
I know you're against medication & I agree it won't be a simple fix, but it can be part of a very good treatment towards reducing some of your anxiety & depression, alongside talking therapies, exposure work & such.
How would you feel about seeing a psych to discuss alliterative treatments to medication? He/She may be able to refer you onto CBT therapy or group work, perhaps an OT that can help you tackle your fear of the outside world? It's worth going & seeing what options they might offer you.
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